Seasons

I have been thinking a lot about the different seasons of my life. When Jason and I first got married, we served students and their families. (Or at least we tried too!) I was constantly surrounded by young people and their parents. I learned SO MANY THINGS about parenting from being around parents who would say things to me like, "don't let it bother you that he wears his shoes on the wrong feet!" "Try not to get irritated when he is screaming in the car seat because the seams of his socks aren't laying perfectly." " Enjoy your time with them because they will be in high school like mine before you can blink. I promise." " Enjoy the messes, they are not that big of a deal." "Give him his own basket of toys to play with only while you are putting your make-up on so that he isn't breaking yours."  And so forth. I took these to heart and it has blessed the toddler years in our home in many ways. I am so thankful for their words of wisdom.

I also have gone through seasons in life where we had college students in our home frequently. College students are the best. They are so eager and excited to change the world. And they believe that they can. They haven't been worn down by life and they think the sky is the limit. They are so passionate about sharing their faith and they just pretty much rock. I love them.

I had a very short (ha, because we had kids so fast...), season where I promised myself I would do this and I wouldn't do that when I was a parent. Granted, I saw lots of kids in churches where the families where not as united as the front they put on.  I saw the impact many things going on inside of homes had on kids, so I did learn many things that I truly hope God uses to protect our family. But many of the things were also silly, and I have learned not to make promises like, "I will never", or "we will never," or "they will never..."  Parenting is so humbling. Oh so humbling. I love how God has taught me that yes, I am a steward of the little ones He is placed in my care, and what a tremendous blessing that is. I take it very seriously. However, at the end of the day, they belong to Him and He created them with their own wills, personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. They are not an extension of me. They are individuals and I cannot control them.

I don't know what I would call the season I am in right now. I am encouraged at the things God has for us, and I am also a little bit weary. I have come to a place where I know I am incredibly limited and I am very dependent on God's provision every day in every area of my life. I need Him. That is freeing bc I know I do not carry the weight alone, and I also need to set parameters around my life to protect myself from using my time and energy in the wrong places. I am thankful for so many things, blessed beyond measure and determined to persevere.

The beauty to me, of the seasons I speak of, is that it is so wonderful to have friends in my life who come from each place. They are so encouraging to me. It is so cool, even if it is only on fb, to see young, college-aged friends, writing things on their walls about how awesome the God they serve is. There passion is contagious. There energy is inspiring. It's so cool to see friends of mine having their first child and watching the sheer delight on their faces, the indescribable love, and the euphoria before sleep deprivation comes along. (Hee hee.)

And then to hear all the way across the spectrum to friends whose children are newly married or whose parents are elderly or have passed. It's encouraging for me to hear about the struggle that it is to let your children go and to watch them start their own families because it makes me feel normal at the struggles I had as I left my family of origin and started creating my own family.  It's a good reminder for me to remember that my parents will not always be around and I want to love them well while they are here.

I guess some things that all of these seasons have in common is that they all have beauty beyond words. Life is rich with delight and good gifts. They all have the potential of excruciating pain or loss because to love fully is also to potentially lose a whole heck of a lot. They all take work and can be dauntingly hard. And most importantly, they are all worth it. The things asked of me may be beyond my natural abilities, but my daddy in Heaven has been,  and always will be with me on the journey. Thank you Jesus.