I had the privilege of being on a panel at church on Mother's Day. These are the questions I was asked and the answers I typed up ahead of time...

Life is filled with all types of challenges and obstacles, what has been the most challenging aspect of being a mother from your perspective?

After Sarah was born, I mourned the fact that I could no longer do and be all the things I wanted to do and be for each of my children.  My health declined and limited me in many ways for the first year or so and I felt like I missed out on a lot of time with them. I realized after Sarah was born that up until that point, I felt like my life was pretty manageable and after Sarah, it no longer was. I think that has been the hardest thing for me, is feeling out of control. And also feeling limited, unable to meet their every need. I don't think any of this was an accident though bc it obviously was a false security I had before and I am thankful for the blessing in disguise. It has caused me to recognize my need for the Lord more and to depend on Him for everything. I am very thankful.

One of the things we believe is that parenting is not simply about our children’s growth but also our growth.  What are a couple of valuable things you have learned through your experience as a mother?

Death to self is really the way to experiencing the richness of life. It's not a loss, but a gain. Serving my kids and putting their lives as more valuable than my own has brought me more joy and freedom than anything else. I do not resent the time with my kids, I embrace it. (This has been a learned attitude). Also, I am very aware of the fact that my kids watch my actions a lot more than they hear my words. When I remember this, it helps to focus more on being in continual relationship with Jesus, bc when I stop spending time with Him, I stop acting like Him. I learn and am blessed so much by teaching my kids about Jesus, character, the ways of life, etc.,  bc I am reinforcing the lessons to myself as well.

I also know that I need to keep pointing my kids to Jesus rather than myself bc Jesus will not fail them. I will. This has taught me about humility. I have tried to quit pretending that I have all the answers or that I always get it right. That has also allowed me to be more gracious to them as I am training them. Parenting has a ripple effect. We are all learning and growing and are in this together.

What is one thing from your experience you would want to share with mothers to encourage and challenge them in the different seasons of life: preschool age to newborns, elementary age, teenage, and mothers who have children out of the home? 

I will just say one thing I learned from the preschool season bc the elementary aged season is still so new to me. When Dylan and Drew were toddlers, we lived in a tiny apartment and had hardly any money. The highlight of our days was to go to the swimming pool in the complex or to the playground. It was such a simple season and I enjoyed it thoroughly. After a while though, I started to feel like my brain was turning to mush. It was helpful for me to write as an outlet that engaged my brain. I guess the one thing I would say to mommies in that season would be just to embrace it. It is so fast and the simplicity of it, (the lack of commitments such as school, etc.), will be gone so fast. It seems like their needs are many, and they are, but they are easy fixes. As they get older, the solutions aren't as easy as feeding them or changing a diaper. They are so lovable and all they want is time and love from their parents, I would say give them that as much as you can!

Another thing that I wrestled with a lot in the pre-school years was all the "things" we missed due to sick kids. I always felt guilty for missing the important stuff like Christmas parties or whatever, to stay at home with my sick kids. But now I say without a shadow of a doubt that staying home with the sick kids IS the important thing. There is no need to ever feel guilty for tending to sick children. It is building a deep bond and trust from them to us when we take care of them and love on them in their weakest, most miserable moments.  Children get sick, a lot, and I embrace it as an opportunity from the Lord to shut out the rest of the world and recuperate together.  (Now when it goes on for 3 weeks, you will get texts from me of me going out of my mind!! LOL)

As you have gone through the journey of motherhood, could you share one or two verses (passages) from scripture that have helped you through the journey?

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

This is a passage I love bc it is a reminder to me that the gospel is to be lived, not just talked about on certain occasions. It goes back to what I was saying earlier that my kids are watching  me all the time. Also, I don't want to just be a talking head that talks about Jesus when I feel like going on rants or something, but I want to eat, drink, and live the message of Jesus and all that His word has to offer us. His word and His spirit is available to us all throughout the day in everything that we do, not just at church on Sundays or when we do family devotionals.

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6

Last week Marty talked about that trigger that he gets to pray. He said he starts to get anxious about something and that is his trigger to pray. This is true for me as well with my kids. Training them up is hard work. Oftentimes, I get this unsettling feeling in my gut and I start to panic when I think things like, "how am I ever going to teach him to read? what if something awful were to happen to one of them bc I am not there to protect them? what if they don't know how much I love them? what if I fail them and they can never have healthy relationships? what if they don't follow Jesus all the days of their lives? what if he doesn't learn how to be truthful in all things?"

And then I remember that they are God's children and that He knows the inner workings of their bodies and souls bc He made them. I can't possibly know all of the right things to do in every situation and I can't possibly know everything that is going on in their hearts. But God does.  And He gave me this privilege of training them, so I believe He wants to equip me to do it. So then I remember to pray. I pray for the holy spirit to be working in their lives and that they would learn how to recognize the voice of the holy spirit and I ask him to give me the tools I need to reach them and to train them up for God's glory. I recently got a book, Powerful Prayers for a Parent, and that has helped me to narrow down some of my requests, but oftentimes, my prayers are birthed out of a fear or out of a sensing that something is off and I need God's help to get us back on track or to know how to handle specific situations. 

We all, when looking back can better evaluate things we might do slightly differently, that worked really well, or that you might reinforce given the chance do it again.  Are there any such things that you can share today to help the families here today?

I would be more consistent. I think that's one of the places that I definitely fall short. Unfortunately, my moods or energy levels effect my consistency. I would be more consistent if I could go back. And I would continue to be more consistent in the future as well!

Another thing is that as much as I would like to say that I don't do this, I know sometimes I make decisions based on what will bring the most harmony to my relationships with my kids instead of what's actually best for them. I wish I didn't do that. I'm trying to quit.