Torn In Two

My bloggy friend, Jenn, shared this post with me and I am so thankful that she did.  I think this message is so true and it is dear to my heart.  What am I willing to sacrifice or endure in order that Christ may be known??

The waves were rough that day.

I had little Hannah standing next to me in the calf-deep water.  Grannie was sitting in front of me, in water that was just a hair shallower.  We chatted.  We laughed.  And we didn't notice the wave behind us.  All of the sudden we were smacked with a large, unexpected wave that lifted Hannah off her feet and nearly knocked my 88-pound grandmother under the water.  Hannah had already been holding my hand, but since her feet no longer found footing on the ocean floor, the rip tide was carrying her north.  I tightened my grip on her and lunged for my grandmother to help her keep her head above water.  I had two people who did not have enough strength to battle the wave and undertow on their own, clinging to me.  My arms were outstretched, one pulled north and one pulled south.  My heels dug into the sand beneath me and I held on as tight as I could, desperate to save them both.  The wave passed and everyone righted themselves, hearts beating quickly, relief settling in.

During my quiet time this morning, God replayed this event in my mind.  As I looked back at my physical being in that moment, I saw my arms extended in a straight line, each hand 180 degrees away from the other.  I saw a cross behind me.  And in some sort of weird image that only God can make in order to show His point, I saw myself super-imposed on that cross.  I was a sacrifice trying desperately to save two souls, unworried about myself, sure of my footing, but scared for my daughter and my grandmother.

No, I'm not saying I'm Jesus.  Not even close.  What I think God was asking me was if I was willing to sacrifice my life for those who have not chosen Him.  Would I choose to endure waves of pain so that someone else might find life eternal?  Then, would I not only live through the pain, but would I be able to eventually choose joy, despite the circumstances?

Can I really lay all that I have down at Your throne?  Can I trust You with all that I have and allow You to use me to the fullest extent possible to win souls for You?


Can I let You use my children?  Can I let You have my husband?  Can I give You free rein over our financial stability?  Can I give You my health?  My house?  My jobs?  Will I offer up everything, knowing that I might lose it all, to bring You more glory?  Will I willingly seek and find the joy and the presence of Your Hand, no matter what this life may bring?

At the Woman of Joy conference that I attended in October, the recurring theme was finding joy in the midst of the most tragic suffering.  Steven Curtis Chapman spoke about losing his five year-old daughter.  Carol Kent spoke about her son being sentenced to life in prison for committing first-degree murder.  Becky Tirabassi spoke about being a teenage alcoholic and her husband's battle with cancer.  All these trials.  All this suffering.  And yet, here they were, allowing God to use these things to win souls for Christ.  They weren't martyrs.  They were the embodiment of joy because they were living out their purpose.  In the midst of it all, at some point, they trusted that God was with them and would lead them, in the end, to victory.

Will I be willing to take the risk to actively surrender my life so that God can use it to the fullest extent possible?  Will I die to myself, to my dreams and do whatever heart work it takes to finish the race strong and in His name?  Will it be for His glory alone and not for a drop of mine?  Will I risk feeling as though I am being torn in two in order to be a part of the most amazing victory in the end?

I don't know if this act of surrender will end in the type of pain these people experienced.  I don't believe that God caused these horrible things to happen, but I do think He  allowed them to happen so that these amazing people would testify to the power and divine surprises that He gives us in this world.  The truth is that there will always be suffering on this earth as we now know it.  There will always be pain.  It is what we do with that suffering and pain that has the possibility to reveal God's powerful and amazing love, grace, and mercy.

Would you risk it all for Him?

"That evening Jesus' disciples went down to the shore to wait for him.  But as darkness fell and Jesus still hadn't come back, they got into the boat and headed across the lake toward Capernaum.  Soon a gale swept down upon them, and the sea grew very rough.  They had rowed three or four miles when suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water toward the boat.  They were terrified, but he called out to them.  'Don't be afraid.  I am here!'  Then they were eager to let him in the boat, and immediately they arrived at their destination!"  John 6: 16-21

Gomer's House

Jason and I have had the fortunate blessing of crossing paths with many other people called by the Lord to vocational ministry.  One of our new friends is doing something truly exciting in Fentress, Texas.  Read the following to hear about a mighty work of God!

In the beginning our marriage, God had given us opportunities to house different people in our small, single family home. Then five years ago, God started turning our hearts to provide a place of healing for people. At the end of 2007, God told us to sell our home. Not knowing where we were going, we put our home on the market. In April of 2008, our house sold for full price even though the exact model next door had sold for $10,000 less just a month earlier. This began our Abrahamic season where we stayed with four different friends for a nine month period. During this time, we began fervently asking the Lord where we were to be and exactly what we were to be doing. He showed us pastors that were hurting, people hurt by pastors, missionaries in need of refreshing, and we personally lost two brothers to drug addiction.

How was God going to tie all of this together?

One day we prayed and asked God for a miracle of direction. While perusing Craig’s List for something completely unrelated, we found a 3 story, 100 year old house in a town we had never heard of. God miraculously provided the down payment and we were set to begin. As we moved into the house in January of 2009, we began to see how God was going to use us to reach such a wide array of people. This glorious house is situated amongst a poor and drug ravaged neighborhood.

God graciously brought us people to completely redo all of our plumbing and much of our electrical so that we could live in the house. Volunteers have continued to stream in over the course of the last year bringing much of what we needed.

People always ask if we know that Gomer was a prostitute. Two years ago, while studying the book of Hosea, God clearly told us that this was to be the name of the respite. Hosea was one of God’s main men during his time and his wife was a drug addict and a prostitute. If this was going on in Hosea’s home, we can only imagine the need for healing in homes of ministers today.

We thought that God would finish our house before He started sending people to us. Several months after we moved in, He started sending people to stay and rest and find healing. It is a beautiful testimony of how God can use 5,500 square feet in need of desperate restoration to minister. .

I ask that you pray for the people living in Fentress. Pray for those here that are captive to drug and alcohol addiction to be set free. Pray that their hearts would be prepared to hear the good news and receive Christ.

Several times during prayer for the drug addicts in our neighborhood, the very people we have been praying for would knock on our door. They often volunteer here. We are humbled that God is allowing us to work with him in our community. We are currently praying about a door that has opened to start a church here.

This was shared by Stephanie Cherry. You can read more about Gomer's house here.  Please join me in praying for them:).

"Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life.” Revelation 22:17

†Gomer's House is being restored to serve as a respite to the least, the last, and the broken.