Seasons

I have been thinking a lot about the different seasons of my life. When Jason and I first got married, we served students and their families. (Or at least we tried too!) I was constantly surrounded by young people and their parents. I learned SO MANY THINGS about parenting from being around parents who would say things to me like, "don't let it bother you that he wears his shoes on the wrong feet!" "Try not to get irritated when he is screaming in the car seat because the seams of his socks aren't laying perfectly." " Enjoy your time with them because they will be in high school like mine before you can blink. I promise." " Enjoy the messes, they are not that big of a deal." "Give him his own basket of toys to play with only while you are putting your make-up on so that he isn't breaking yours."  And so forth. I took these to heart and it has blessed the toddler years in our home in many ways. I am so thankful for their words of wisdom.

I also have gone through seasons in life where we had college students in our home frequently. College students are the best. They are so eager and excited to change the world. And they believe that they can. They haven't been worn down by life and they think the sky is the limit. They are so passionate about sharing their faith and they just pretty much rock. I love them.

I had a very short (ha, because we had kids so fast...), season where I promised myself I would do this and I wouldn't do that when I was a parent. Granted, I saw lots of kids in churches where the families where not as united as the front they put on.  I saw the impact many things going on inside of homes had on kids, so I did learn many things that I truly hope God uses to protect our family. But many of the things were also silly, and I have learned not to make promises like, "I will never", or "we will never," or "they will never..."  Parenting is so humbling. Oh so humbling. I love how God has taught me that yes, I am a steward of the little ones He is placed in my care, and what a tremendous blessing that is. I take it very seriously. However, at the end of the day, they belong to Him and He created them with their own wills, personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. They are not an extension of me. They are individuals and I cannot control them.

I don't know what I would call the season I am in right now. I am encouraged at the things God has for us, and I am also a little bit weary. I have come to a place where I know I am incredibly limited and I am very dependent on God's provision every day in every area of my life. I need Him. That is freeing bc I know I do not carry the weight alone, and I also need to set parameters around my life to protect myself from using my time and energy in the wrong places. I am thankful for so many things, blessed beyond measure and determined to persevere.

The beauty to me, of the seasons I speak of, is that it is so wonderful to have friends in my life who come from each place. They are so encouraging to me. It is so cool, even if it is only on fb, to see young, college-aged friends, writing things on their walls about how awesome the God they serve is. There passion is contagious. There energy is inspiring. It's so cool to see friends of mine having their first child and watching the sheer delight on their faces, the indescribable love, and the euphoria before sleep deprivation comes along. (Hee hee.)

And then to hear all the way across the spectrum to friends whose children are newly married or whose parents are elderly or have passed. It's encouraging for me to hear about the struggle that it is to let your children go and to watch them start their own families because it makes me feel normal at the struggles I had as I left my family of origin and started creating my own family.  It's a good reminder for me to remember that my parents will not always be around and I want to love them well while they are here.

I guess some things that all of these seasons have in common is that they all have beauty beyond words. Life is rich with delight and good gifts. They all have the potential of excruciating pain or loss because to love fully is also to potentially lose a whole heck of a lot. They all take work and can be dauntingly hard. And most importantly, they are all worth it. The things asked of me may be beyond my natural abilities, but my daddy in Heaven has been,  and always will be with me on the journey. Thank you Jesus.

Happy Birthday Month Jesus

Several years ago, I struggled over what Christmas would look like for our family. Being a new, young, passionate follower of Christ, I felt the American way sort of cheapened the miracles I had experienced in my life and the abundance of Christ's love. I even considered boycotting Christmas. I think there was a year that I didn't put up a tree. Granted, I had little babies and not a lot of space, but I wasn't overly concerned about not having a tree.

Santa seemed to have stole the show and I felt very uncomfortable about it. And then I had that whole mentality, of "well, aren't we supposed to celebrate Jesus everyday?" "What's the big deal about this time of year? After all, it isn't even really the right time of the year that Jesus was born." I wrestled.

I had singing Santa's, reindeer, and bears that sang about grandma getting hit by reindeer. All of it felt completely separate from something so sacred and Holy, like the birth of my Savior into the world.

One day, I remember it so vividly, I got all the Santa decor, the singing reindeer's, etc and I threw them all in the trash. It felt very drastic and I worried that I was losing it. Dylan cried when he realized his beloved toys were gone. (Thankfully he does not remember that:)). I wrote a blog posts asking for opinions and ideas and that only reiterated to me that I was a little on the crazy side, because let's face it, Santa is fun, and who wants to spoil the fun?? Why not do both? Well, I couldn't do both. It wasn't possible for me. I think I tend to be pretty extreme, it's just how God made me, maybe that's good, maybe not. Sometimes it helps me in things, and sometimes it makes things ridiculously hard.

So this year, after 7 years of making changes, it's Christmas time and I am here to tell you that I am beside myself with giddiness as I celebrate and relish in the love of my Savior. I am in love with all the beautiful Christmas lights. I could sing my heart out when I sing the lyrics to some of my favorites like, O Holy Night. The words are so rich and meaningful. I want to go places and do things to get all I can get out of the season. I want to be with my loved ones. I want to buy a few, just a few, special gifts for the people I love. I am not stressed out about buying everyone a gift, because I hope others in my life will understand that it wouldn't be wise for me to do so. But the gifts I have selected, they are simple and hopefully meaningful. I am excited about giving our kids the 3-4 presents that we picked out for each of them. I know they will enjoy them. I had good intentions to do other things, like The Jesse Tree, but I haven't quite arrived there.

My point is that Christmas feels more pure to me this year. I have a feeling it will continue evolving into something more and more beautiful for us, but this year, it just feels right. I don't hate Santa, I don't shield my kids from him or anything crazy like that, but he just really isn't a very big deal to us. And even though I worried about it, I think my kids are doing just fine without him. In fact, I know they are.

One of my friends wrote a post where she mentioned the difference between the joy of an amusement park and the joy of being in nature. It feels like that to me. I have been to several amusement parks, and they are fun, but seeing the mountains that surround Lake Tahoe, or the beaches in Hawaii, or the scenery in the hill country, reach places in my soul that cotton candy and Ferris wheels just can't quite match.

Sorry Santa, you've been outdone.

A special thanks to those who went against the current before me and gave me the courage to change.

Are you Prepared for this Battle???

I can remember sitting in Dylan and Drew's room at night praying with them when they were babies. I remember asking God, "what in the world am I supposed to pray for them??"  Being a parent is such a tremendous responsibility and I knew I wanted my kids to know Jesus, but after that, what specifics should I pray for them? What magic words could I beg God for that would set them up for lives of prosperity and success? Good lives, how could I guarantee them good lives?

Oh man, I was such a baby. God has used my kids to grow me up in more ways than one. I had to learn how to pursue God myself before I could began to ask God for the things that matter in the lives of my kids.  Prosperity and success are not those things.

When I prayed for God to break my heart for what breaks His, and He did, that was part of the process of Him teaching me that what He wants is my heart. He wants all of it.  He wants theirs and He wants yours. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

I read a book called Shepherding A Child's Heart by Ted Tripp when Dylan was a baby. It started a paradigm shift in my thinking that has helped me as they have gotten older in regards to discipline and behavior issues.

Yesterday Dylan was making me crazy. He was whining and giving me trouble with every single thing. I sent him to Sarah's room to be alone. After a few minutes I went in and checked on him. I held him in my lap and asked him if I could pray for him. I started praying and when I thanked God for making Dylan, tears started streaming down his face. When I asked Dylan why he was crying, he said it's because God didn't make him nice. He went on to tell me that God made everyone else nice, but that he wasn't nice. He said, " I am not nice to my friends, I am not nice to Sarah, I am just not nice. My heart is not nice. "

It hit me like a ton of bricks that Satan is after my son's heart. He is the thief and He is a liar and many of times, I have heard him whisper those lies in my own head. "You aren't good enough, you aren't smart, you aren't pretty. You are fat. You are out of control."

We are in a spiritual battle friends. It's real and there is an enemy who wants to control the lives of our kids. It starts young. Dylan is seven.

You see, I could have missed this way too easily. I know there are times that I do. It may have been easier to discipline Dylan and to continue demanding good behavior from him, but what I may have missed was the cry of his heart. If I only reiterate to him his shortcomings and failures, then Satan has the advantage.  Dylan needed someone to hear his heart, he needed someone to tell Him the true things of God's word, and to teach Him to battle those lies on His own when I am not there to do it for him.

We are in a spiritual battle and whether we acknowledge it or not, Satan is after our kids. We have to stand strong for them. We have to equip them to engage in this battle and to fight for the one true God. Join me in pursuing the hearts of our children, will you?

We are going to be studying the armor of God now as part of our school day. This is me holding myself accountable by telling you all. I am going to order this book and I printed this picture off the Internet today. Then I wrote in the armor of God. I had Dylan help me pick out the coolest picture we could find because I didn't want it to be some cheesy cartoon character. I wanted it to look tough and masculine. When I printed it out and asked the boys what the knight was about to be doing, Drew said, "he is going to fight in a battle." Dylan said, "he is going to look so cool and all of the girls are going to want to kiss him!!!" WHAT?!?! I am SO not ready for that kind of talk!! Sigh. ( I am reminding myself that it is also God's plan and design for a man to marry a woman, and this is a natural thing, but God help me to tone it down for a while!! Oh, how I want to protect their hearts for their spouses, I digress...).

I am also stealing some explanations from this picture, although this is exactly the kind of picture that I don't want...

It's hard to see, but if you click on it, the explanations are great, and short and concise. I tend to ramble so that's helpful for me.

Speaking of rambling...I think I am doing so now...I hope this encourages someone and please pray for me and my kids as well if you think about it! We can't fight this battle alone, we need each-other!

Love,

Life's Healing Choices- Choice Eight

Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires.
Matthew 5:10

If I could sum up chapter 8 in one sentence, it would be this quote from the book.

God is bigger than anyone who hurts you. (or anything that has hurt you.) No matter what other people have done to you, God can recycle it and use it for good. God never wastes a hurt. But you can waste it, if you don't learn from it and share it. Others will be blessed and encouraged if you share the problems and struggles you've gone through. God can and will use your pain to help others, if you let Him.

(I added "or anything that hurts you" because sometimes life just hurts, pain is not always tied up in another person.)

I can't think of much worse than bottling up the things God has done for me and keeping it to myself. That's not how He works, and I certainly don't want to live that way. In fact, the only reason that I can think of keeping hurts, habits, and hang-ups completely to myself would be for the sake of keeping my pride and reputation in tact. I am almost over worrying about what people think of me. I am getting closer and closer to the point of only caring about the glory God receives, and less about myself receiving glory. The truth is that I don't ever want people to think that my faith, or my relationship with Jesus is any more sacred than the relationship that is available to all of us. I am nothing special. Well, I am special because I am a daughter of the king, but that is the only reason.  Jesus has freed me from things and he continues to and anything good that comes from me is only because of the work he is doing in me.

So like I said, I am almost to the point of not caring what other people think of me. But I have not arrived.  I have shared some on here and with friends, and I have gone to DEEP places with some people, but I thought surely that wouldn't happen again.  At least not anytime soon. But I was wrong. As I prayed about who God would have me recycle my pain for and share my story with, he pretty clearly brought a certain woman to my mind. I called her today and I just have to say that He is so faithful and so amazing.

I called my friend, not sure exactly what I would say, or exactly what I would share, but the conversation just flowed so naturally and she said to me, "it is so amazing that you called me today and are speaking to me about the thing that has been such a burden to me here lately."  Wow. Our stories are similar and I knew they were, but I didn't know how similar. We were able to encourage each other and now we can walk alongside each other as we heal from the pain in our pasts. Recycling pain. Beautiful. Amazing. Worth it.

I also want to REDUCE pain by sharing my story.  Because friends, doing things that God says not to do always, always, ALWAYS has a price tag. And it's not because He is a mean God, it's because He is an extremely loving God. So if you are choosing to live outside of God's will right now...STOP!!! Please, please, please. Seek God. Turn your life around and begin the path to healing. I know it is so hard to take that first step, and I know it's sometimes easier to stay in the land of what's comfortable and known, but in the end...IT"S NOT EASIER. And it's not worth it!! Sin always has a price, and you never know how much that price will be or how long it will haunt you. And if you are a parent, you never know what YOUR sin will cost your kids. Don't fool yourself and think you can separate them from it.  Believe me, I am paying the price for sin that was in my life many, many years ago and my hurts, habits, and hang-ups do not just effect me. They effect everyone that is close to me.

...and that, my friends, is the end of this book, but the beginning of a healthier life for me! Thank you for joining me!!

Choice 8
Yield myself to God to be used to bring this good news to others, both by my example and by my words.


Recap of the previous beatitudes that we have covered...

Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor; the Kingdom of heaven belongs to them! (This is about acknowledging our need for God.)

Happy are those who mourn; God will comfort them! (This isn't just about crying, it's about crying OUT TO GOD!!)

Happy are those who are humble; they will receive what God has promised. (This is about acknowledging that we are not in charge of the universe, Jesus is. It's about surrendering to Him.)

Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires; God will satisfy them fully.  (This is the continual, life-long choice to always seek after what God desires.)

Happy are those who are merciful to others; God will be merciful to them. ( Choosing to forgive because God has forgiven us, resentment doesn't work, and in the future I will need forgiveness.)

Happy are the pure in heart; they will see God. (Confess your deepest regrets, fears, and concerns to safe people. Satan likes to keep our secrets in the dark and that is where they grow!! Light exposes darkness for what it is and makes it dissipate!)

Happy are those who work for peace; God will call them his children. (Let's quit feeling entitled and causing bickering!! Let it go!! Strive for peace in your marriage, in your relationships, at your work, etc.!)



The Crossing's website where you can find encouraging messages that enhance the journey of this book and healing journey:)

Why I Keep Drinking the Pine Cove Kool-Aid

The first year I went to PC, I cried when we got home. I cried because my experience at PC was so wonderful and I did not want to abandon the wonderful things that I had experienced there. Over the years, I have tried to put my finger on what is so wonderful about it and these are a few conclusions I have come to.

1. Prayer.
Everything about PC has been prayed over and is being prayed over the entire time. God's presence is so tangible and evident at PC.

2. Real Community.
The relationships and community that I have experienced at PC are amazing. Everyone is there for similar reasons and we all share the same desire to connect with our families, with God, and sometimes with each other, ( I mention the last part, because sometimes I have been there with no energy to "reach" out to anyone outside of my family, yet God still provides those relationships and connections. It's a beautiful thing.)

2. Worship.
While at PC, there are no outside distractions, and everything is done with a heart of worship. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." This is true at PC. Everything is intentional and the grounds become a haven.

3. Servanthood
One of the things I have learned through PC is that to be a servant of Christ doesn't mean to serve only when it is convenient or easy. The students in particular at PC serve the heck out of the families there. And they work HARD. They work LONG hours and the entire time, you never see them serving without a smile on their faces, and/or begrudgingly. They have loved on my kids, served us countless meals, and offered encouragement through who they are in more ways than I could ever count.

4. Vulnerability.
PC has been a safe place for me to share with others about the struggles we have endured. I have received love and rest there.  I have heard more men and women be vulnerable with their hearts in the large group sessions than I have ever heard probably in my life. It is amazing to hear the challenges other families are enduring and then to see God work in mighty ways as they share and are open to prayer and/or help.  At the end of the week, there are opportunities to share what God has done, and it is so amazing. I have seen marriages redeemed, I have seen people get saved, I have learned MIGHTY lessons myself, and I have heard testimonies that would rock anyone's world.

5. Fun.
Jason and I have so much FUN with our kids when we are at PC. It is a chance to be set up for many, many opportunities to do nothing else but have fun with the kids. They make it easy and available, all you have to do is take the bait.  Boat rides, horse rides, zip lines, ice cream and late-night snacks, swimming, skits, games and fishing are just the first few that come to the top of my mind.

6. Challenges.
I have seen my kids overcome fears and take opportunities to be brave and courageous while at PC. I think it is because it is a safe environment and the kids sense that.

7. Generational Lines.
At PC,  college-aged kids hang out with babies, preschoolers, parents, and grandparents...and every other combination. Everyone at camp becomes a true family and the bonds that are made have made an incredible impression on my kids, and on myself. I have seen the value of spending time with not just my peers, but with people of all different ages and walks of life at PC. 

8. Refreshment and Focus
Every year at PC is an opportunity for Jason and I to step back and evaluate the direction of our family. It is also a chance to refocus and get back on track if we need to.  We also receive training and instruction for our marriage and as parents.  Every year, I walk away with truth(s) more deeply ingrained into my heart, and with tangible ways to walk them out.

As I step back from PC, I realize that PC does a good job of painting a picture of what the church, the body of Christ, should look like. This is my dream for what every church should look like, and I think it is a glimpse of what heaven will look like.

http://www.pinecove.com/

Little House on the Freeway

Couldn't we all use a little help when it comes to being taken captive by this fast paced world? I know it takes work and effort for me to truly connect with the people in my life. It's easy to just let life happen and to feel exhausted while also feeling like I am not accomplishing meaningful things. "Little House on the Freeway", combined with meditating on scripture, has been one agent in helping to live a quiet, peaceful life, even when the world is spinning around me so quickly. I thought maybe someone out there would benefit from this list like I did....enjoy!!


1. Pay off your credit cards, and keep them paid off.
2. Take off ten pounds (at least), or accept where you are without anymore complaints.
3. Eat dinner together as a family at least three nights a week.
4. Men: take your wife on a dialogue date. (No movies, guys.)
5. Read your kids a classic book. Twain's a good start.
6. Memorize the Twenty-Third Psalm as a family.
7. Give each family member a hug for twenty-one days in a row. (That's how long the experts say it takes to develop a habit.)
8. Pick at least three nights a week when the television will be off.
9. Go out for a non-fast food dinner as a family.
10. Pray for your spouse and children everyday.
11. Plan a vacation together.
12. Take a vacation together.
13. Read a chapter from the bible everyday until it becomes habit.
14. Sit together as a family in church.
15. Surprise your teenager: wash his car and fill his tank up with gas.
16. Take an afternoon off work and surprise your child by excusing her from school and taking her to a ballgame.
17. Take a few hours one afternoon as a family and go to the library.
18. Take a walk as a family.
19. Write each member of your family a letter sharing why you value them.
20. Give your spouse a weekend getaway with a friend to a place of his or her choice.
21. Go camping as a family.
22. Go to bed early (one hour before your normal bedtime) every day for a week.
23. Take each of your children out to breakfast (individually) four or five times a year throughout their childhood.
24. Text message your kids just to tell them you love them.
25. Religiously wear your seat belts.
26. Get a complete physical at least every five years.
27. Exercise a little at least three days out of every week.
28. Make sure you have adequate life insurance on both you and your spouse.
29. Write out details about finances, wills, and important business information that your spouse can use to keep things under control in the event of your death.
30. Make sure your family car is safe (tires, brakes, etc.) and get it tuned up.
31. Replace the batteries in the smoke alarms.
32. Put a security system in your house.
33. Attend the parent/teacher meetings of each child as a couple.
34. Help your kids with their homework.
35. Dads: watch the kids on Saturday while your wife goes shopping. And if a friend calls, don't say you are babysitting. You are just being a dad.
36. Have a "no Internet, email, IM, texting night" once a week.
37. Put together a picture puzzle of five hundred pieces or more as a family.
38. Take time during the week to read a Bible story to your children and then discuss it with them.
39. Encourage each child to submit to you his or her most perplexing question, and promise you will either answer it or discuss it.
40. Finish fixing something around the house.
41. Tell your kids how you and your spouse met.
42. Tell your kids about your first date.
43. Sit down and write your parents a letter thanking them for a specific thing they did for you.  (Don't forget to send it!)
44. Spend and evening out as a family when every one's cell phone is left at home.
45. Keep a prayer journal for a month. Keep track of specific ways God meets your needs.
46. Do some stargazing away from the city with your family, and help your children identify constellations. Conclude the evening with prayer to the majestic God who created the heavens.
47. Men: treat your wife to a beauty makeover (massage, facial, manicure, haircut, etc.).
48. Give your kids an alternative to watching Saturday morning cartoons (breakfast at McDonald's, garage sales, the park, chores, etc.).
49. Ask your children about the highlights or low points of the day at school.
50. After you make your next major family decision, take your children back through the process and teach them how you arrived at your decision.
51. Start saying to yourself, my car doesn't look so bad.
52. Call your spouse from work just to see how he or she is doing.
53. Complete a family tree, and teach your children the history of their ancestors.
54. Walk through an old graveyard with your children, and discuss the epitaphs.
55. Say no to at least one thing a day, even if it's a second piece of pie.
56. The next time you see a great and redemptive show on TV, write a letter to the network that broadcast the show thanking them for the investment in your family.
57. Turn off the lights and turn on some inspirational music as you focus on the Lord.
58. Write a note to your pastor thanking him for something.
59. Take back all the books in your library that actually belong in someone else's library.
60. Give irritating drivers the right to pull in front of you without signaling; don't yell at them.
61. Make every effort not to let the sun go down on your anger.
62. Accept legitimate criticism from your spouse or friend without reacting or defending yourself.
63. If your car has a christian bumper sticker on it, drive accordingly.
64. Maintain ongoing training and  development as a spouse, a parent, or a grandparent.
65. Make a list of people who have hurt your feelings over the past year; then check your list to see if you've forgiven them.
66. Make a decision to honor your parents, even if they have made a career out of dishonoring you.
67. Dads; take your kids to the dentist or doctor for your wife.
68. Play charades with your family, but limit subjects to memories of the past.
69. Men: clean up the kitchen for your wife. Women: clean up the garage for your husband.
70. Schedule yourself a free day during summer break to stay home with your family.
71. Get involved in a family project that helps or serves someone less fortunate.
72. As a family, get involved in a recreational activity.
73. Men: send your wife flowers.
74. Spend an evening going through old pictures from family vacations.
75. Take a weekend once a year for you and your spouse to get away and renew your relationship.
76. Praise your spouse and children- in their presence- to someone else.
77. Discuss a world or national problem, and ask your children for their opinion on it.
78. Wait up for your teenagers when they are out on a date.
79. Have a "quiet Sunday"- no television, no radio, no iPods...no kidding.
80. If your children are little, spend an hour playing with them each week- but let them determine the game.
81. Have your parents tell your children about life when they were young.
82. Give up TV shows that prey on your sexual fantasies.
83. De clutter your house.
84. If you have a habit of late-night television but have to be at work early every morning, change your habit.
85. Don't accept unnecessary business breakfast appointments.
86. E-mail missionaries regularly.
87. Go through your closets, and give everything you haven't worn in a year to a relief organization.
88. Become a faithful and frequent visitor of your church's library.
89. Become a monthly sponsor of a Third World child.
90. Keep each child's memento's, school projects, awards, etc., in a separate file. You'll appreciate these when they have left the nest.
91. Read the biography of a missionary or a great Christian leader from history.
92. Give regularly and faithfully to conscientious church endeavors.
93. Place with your will a letter to each family member telling why you were glad you got to share life with him or her.
94. Go through your CD's, DVD's, and downloads, and discard any that might be a bad example to your children.
95. Furnish a corner of a room with comfortable chairs and declare it the "disagreement corner." When a conflict arises, go to this corner and don't leave until it's resolved.
96. Give each child the freedom to pick his or her favorite dinner menu at least once a month.
97. Go over to a shut-in's house as a family, and completely clean it and get the yard work done.
98. Call an old friend from your past just to see how he or she is getting along.
99. Get a good friend to hold you accountable for a specific important need (Bible reading, prayer, spending time with your family, losing a few pounds, etc.).
100. Establish a budget and live on it.
101. Go to a Christian marriage enrichment seminar at least every other year.

This list is taken from this book, and the book is a great read, as is everything by Tim Kimmel:). 

Our Homeschool Day Part II

According to the curriculum's I have chosen, to go through a years worth of Math, we need to do 4 lessons per week. Science is 3 lessons per week. I have determined accordingly with our other subjects.  Because we can pick and choose between 3-4 subjects a day, I came up with this little chart to help me stay accountable. It's also a way that Jason and I can communicate in case he decides he wants to hang with the boys and do some formal schooling. He can look at this chart and see what holes need to be filled for the current week.

It's hanging in our pantry:)

 Here is what we did this morning between subjects...

I am often too quick to forget how good a little sunshine and fresh air is for the well-being of the household! I am not going to lie, this 700 degree weather has kept us indoors a little more. With the exception of swimming, of course!! It has been brutal.

Jason is cleaning up around the yard today to get ready for our Labor Day block party and the boys have been helping him.  That's another plus.

Have I mentioned that homeschooling has been such a blessing for us? Happy Labor Day!!

Our Homeschool Day

Dear Mommy

Dear Mommy,

Thank you so much for giving me food when I am hungry. You bless my body and my spirit in many ways through the physical sustenance that you give to me.  

Thank you so much for giving me something to drink when I am thirsty. How would I have the water that sustains me if it wasn't for you?

Thank you so much for welcoming me into your heart and into your life when I was a tiny, unknown, helpless baby. I was a stranger to the world, and to you, and you embraced me fully.

Dear Mommy, thank you so much for clothing me. Your protect me with your cloths. 

Thank you so much for taking care of me when I am sick. Thank you for giving me the things that I need to get well.

Dear Mommy, thank you so much for keeping a close eye on my heart. Thank you for praying for me and for helping me to navigate the terrains of life. Thank you for begging Jesus to give me a life of freedom.

Derived from Matthew 25: 35, 36

Dear Daughter,

Please know that when you do these things to the least of these, to those who are overlooked in the world, for their lack of so-called value, arrival in prestige, and/or contribution to society, please know that you did it for me. 

With Love,

Your Father in Heaven.

Derived from Matthew 25: 40

Our Homeschool Day

A couple of people have asked me,  and we are having incredible results, so I thought I would post a little recap of what our days have been like this year as we venture into year TWO of homeschooling. I do not have anything set in stone bc we are learning, growing,  and working out the details, and I know change is inevitable.  Flexibility is one of the glorious benefits we are experiencing as we home-school.

So. In the mornings, I put Sarah straight in her seat to eat her breakfast. While I am getting all of our plates fixed, the boys practice their letters.  Sarah eats. and eats. and eats. :) They each pick 5 letters a day and use a dry erase crayon to work on writing their letters. I am going for repetition, dexterity, and improving fine motor skills with this. Which hopefully will result in good penmanship .  I was gone for five hours the other day, and when I came home, Drew (5) ran up to me so excited to show me how good he had gotten, while I was gone,  at writing the number 3. The curves are still a little hard for him, but he took the initiative to practice on his own and was so excited to show me his improvement!! Hallelujah! We both were thrilled.

The boys are usually done with their letters by the time I get their food in front of them. I give them a sticker for each letter that they complete and they LOVE that!! The stickers go on their folders and we are excited to see how fast we can get those folders filled up with stickers! ($2 for a book of 1200 stickers at Wal-Mart!)

Then we all put away our dishes and we have free time together. This involves mommy getting stuff done, Sarah playing with her toys, Sarah playing with her brothers, time to read together, time to play wii,  (yep, I will admit it, they play wii, during the day. I'm sorry, it gets hard to occupy the entire day when you are home together all day every day), sometimes we cuddle on the couch and watch Elmo, sometimes Sarah and I get showered and dressed together or whatever.  The boys may clean up or just whatever needs to be done that day. Trips to HEB, washing my car, playing with a friend, playing a game together. It's really flexible. We basically just live life together.

Snack time comes and goes, and before I know it, it's time for lunch. We sit together as a family and eat lunch and then Sarah goes down for a nap. While Sarah naps, the boys and I do math. We use Saxon and I couldn't say enough good things about it. The boys LOVE it and they are always excited to do it. Which is amazing, because last year I begged Dylan to do schoolwork with me. He hated it and it's because I made it too structured and boring for him. And I outdid his attention span.  This year he loves it. and again, I give them stickers for every assignment or task completed. I sit with them and can encourage them or help them as they go. Sometimes it is helping Drew draw the curved part of a 3,5, or a 6, and sometimes it is helping Dylan to be ok with the fact that his circle isn't PERFECT!!!  I asked him today, "Dylan, what matters the most? Is it that you do everything perfect, or is it that you try your best?" His response was, "WHAT MATTERS IS THAT I GET IT PERFECT!!!"  Uh-oh. laughing

After this, I have started a new thing where the boys have one hour of quiet time with NO MEDIA. Still working out what that looks like without them waking up Sarah, but I want to to learn how to experience stillness. With no noise.

Those are the two subjects we have eased into so far this year. Tomorrow, or maybe today, I am going to add a block of time into our afternoon in which we practice our reading skills. We are using "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons," and we also use Bob Books.  I don't have much to say about our reading experience this year bc we haven't taken the plunge yet. Dylan is a beginner reader and Drew knows his phonics, and I am looking forward to building on those skills.

We have a Science curriculum that is in the mail and I imagine we will probably do that while we sit at the table and do math. We can easily transition from math to science and I think it will be enough of a change that I can have them sit and concentrate for an hour or so, while Sarah sleeps. And it's hands on, so it's very helpful for Sarah to be away and not grabbing everything. Yet, it is TWO fun things, and not just one long stretch of math, or vice versa. When I put the Saxon Math away, the boys are always aching for more. I think this helps keep the excitement alive. I am hopeful that it will be the same with science.

That's our day in a nutshell. At one of our mealtimes during the day, preferably one that daddy is with us, we read a story from The Jesus Story Book Bible.  We have a flow that works for us in which we read a story from the bible, talk about it and how we can apply it to our lives,  and then we all go around the table and pray. This is our "formal" bible study time together as a family. It's fun, simple, and all of us benefit from it.

So there it is, that's what homeschooling year two, part one, looks like for us! We love it.



Our Homeschool Day II

Knowing My Limits II

I am currently clearing off my plate and putting my health, my God, and my family as my priority.

I am learning to live within my limitations and to not do it begrudgingly, but to be thankful for the ways God is teaching me. As much as I believe it intellectually, it is such a hard concept for me to grasp that God is not interested in all the things that I can do for Him, but He is interested in me being fully devoted to Him. More than anything I can give Him, He just wants to live in an intimate relationship with me. I believe the rest will flow from that, but it cannot and will not work any other way.  (Another thing is that I am a recovering people pleaser, and it's hard to please others when I am at home!)

What does this look like practically? I am staying home a lot more and I am allowing myself one "big" thing a day. Maybe that "big" thing is going to the grocery store with the kids in tow. Maybe it is taking the kids swimming. Maybe it is having Group at our house on Tuesday evenings, or maybe it is going to a dinner that is being put on to raise funds for my precious friends.

No matter what that "one" thing is, the rest of the day is committed to taking care of myself and of my family. Making sure we all have clean clothes, putting three meals on the table (healthy ones as often as possible), sitting with Dylan on the couch and having him read a book to me. Rolling on the floor with Sarah listening to her belly laugh and squeezing her soft skin! Doing math flashcards over lunch, and reading a story from the bible over dinner. Little things that seem so simple, but that go so far.  Those little things that get squeezed out when I choose to fill my life with busyness, even "good" busyness.

Homeschooling starts for us in about a month and I am nervous about that, but I love the freedom and flexibility that it allows.

One of the things I have noticed is that staying home gives my kids the freedom to be kids. When we choose to be on the go, they are sort of left with no freedom to be creative. They are forced to engage with the world around them that constantly has millions of distractions fighting for their attention. When we stay home, they get out their stuffed animals and give them haircuts. They build hide-outs and shoot the enemies that are encroaching on them. They pretend that the rails on the staircase are the barricades from the bad guys and they have their toy guns lined up prepared for battle. They take hour long baths with their sister. They freeze toys in cups and then have so much fun defrosting their creations in the bathtub. They build lego towers. They watch super hero shows and they cuddle with me on the couch.  It's good. It's really good.

I think God knows what we need more than I do, who would have thought?? ;)  Looking forward to a season of focus and recovery.  (Oh, and we got a new mattress today that I am soooo excited about! I am hoping it will help my body feel a little less achy as well:))

Blessings friends. Thank you so much for all the love and support that you guys give me.

Knowing My Limits

So I am still venturing through the unknown trying to figure out what it looks like to manage fibromyalgia and how to live a lifestyle that is productive for it.  I keep coming back to the same thing God has been teaching me since the day I became a mom. Man, why am I so hard-headed??

I remember reading several years ago from a fellow mommy blogger that every mom has their very own unique levels of energy and that it is important for us to realize where we are on the spectrum and to learn to live within our bounds. I  loved hearing that because I have always felt guilty for not being able "to do more." I want to be the mom that takes meals to every hurting family, I want to watch other peoples kids so that the parents can care for sick spouses or children, I want to teach in all the classes and I want to be a good friend to all the other moms and wives out there because I know we all need each other. I want to have a beautifully decorated and clean house, but more than that, I want people to feel welcomed and loved when they come in my house. And I want them here. The list goes on.

For as long as I can remember though, I have always gotten tired very easily. When I was a kid, my mom would take me shopping for clothes and I was always miserable because I would get so tired! I would get grumpy and mad, and I would tell her that I just wanted to go home and take a nap because I was too tired. Then when I was a flight attendent, I was working with women who were 10, 20, sometimes 30 years older than me. We would work the same exact schedule for 1-4 days together and at the end of every day, I would often be so tired that I felt like it was physically beyond me to walk from the airplane to the hotel shuttle. For real. It was ridiculous. I would be in the van on the way to the hotel and I would just sit there quietly anxiously waiting to collapse in my room, while my co-workers were planning what they were going to do when we got to our hotel.  I didn't understand how they had all this energy left in them.

Then I became a mom, and the exhaustion went to a whole other level. Why could I not "go, go, go" like everyone else does? Why is taking care of the basic needs of our family enough to max me out. How can all these other moms go strong all day long with their kids in tow and still have the energy not to fall asleep at the wheel??

So here I am now and I deal with not only the tiredness, but my body screams at me when I push myself beyond my limits even in the tiniest bit.

All of this leads to where I am today...which I think might be a whole other post...:)

To be continued...

The Taxi Driver Season

I have always been amazed at how different Dylan and Drew are from each other. They are raised in the same house, by the same parents, and they are best friends, yet they could not possibly be any more different from each other. Dylan is a true first-born, type A personality. He likes things very organized and he analyzes almost everything.

Drew is care-free, he doesn't get bothered by things being disorderly, and that boy is extremely coordinated. He has been climbing, doing flips, hand-stands, and everything else for as long as I can remember.

So, when Living Social came out with two deals within the same week of each other, I could not pass up the opportunity to give Dylan and Drew a little exposure to some things that we thought would be right up their alley.

Dylan had his first piano lesson today!!  I was so proud of him. He listened very intently and I could tell he was processing and storing every single thing his teacher was telling him. He learned all of the keys and he practiced a few different drills(?). His lesson went so well that his teacher accidently went ahead of the first lesson because he transitioned so smoothly. Monica, his teacher, told me that when she asked him if he had any instruments to practice on at home, he told her he had some Paper Jams! Haha, I don't think that is the kind she was referring to . So funny. Monica also told me that Dylan is a quick learner and I couldn't agree more.

Sarah has a new obsession with our sunscreen stick. She found it during Dylan's lesson and was putting it all over Drew and I. I need to start hiding it from her because once she has it in her hands, there is NO taking it away from her.

 Drew had his first gymnastics lesson today. He thrived. He had two young men for his coaches and I was thankful for that.  His coaches told me that he was very strong, and again this came as no surprise to me. He has incredible upper-body strength. I know he enjoyed himself and I am thankful that he is getting an opportunity to do well at something without being the "little brother."

Drew told me that his teacher asked him what his last name was and he said, "I don't know".  I laughed and said , "why did you say that? you know what your last name is." He proceeded to tell me, "no, I don't, I don't know what my last name is. Is it Simon?"  "No silly, that is your middle name!"  Again, he is carefree and not very attentive to details, you know, like his full name:).

The classes are on the same day, within the same one and a half hour time frame, and they are about five miles from eachother. That's good because it's one day of the week and we are done with it, and I only have to drive into SA once for both classes, but it's not good, because I bounce back and forth like a crazy person getting irritated with all the traffic that is everywhere! Sarah is my little buddy and I am so thankful to have her with me at all times. I can imagine it would probably be sad if we were completely out of the baby season.  I teared up a little on the way home because it was just so much fun, and I can see how it's going to fly by so fast. I know one day, I will be reminiscing about today and Dylan's "first piano lesson, " and Drew's "first gymnastics class." Ahh. Bittersweet. I can't wait to soak up every minute of it and I am thankful for a comfy drivers seat in my car. (I will say though, it will be pretty cool when Sarah can get in and out of the car on her own. That girl is HEAVY!! )

One last funny story. On the way home, I stopped at the gas station and told the boys they could go in and get 3 ring pops, one for each of them.  I gave them two dollars and figured that would be plenty. They came out a few minutes later with 3 ring pops and no change. I asked for the change when at about that moment a nice man walked out and said, "don't worry, they don't owe anything else."

"They didn't have enough money??"

" I got it for them, " he said.

What?? I thought ring-pops were like 25 cents. When did they get so expensive? I felt like my grandpa saying, "when I was a kid, we could go to the gas station and get blah blah blah for a nickel."
So I told the boys I couldn't believe that wasn't enough money to which Dylan responded with this..."Well next time, I guess you are just going to have to give us a twenty."

I love my life.

**edited to add...We enjoyed our month long trial of classes with the boys, BUT we are holding off for a while on that "Taxi Season." I'm thankful that we do not have to be rushed into it because it was TIRING!! Dear Dylan and Drew, quit growing up:).

Three Little Monkeys

When Jason and I had two children, we had a pretty cozy little life. I was able to do so many things with the boys that I enjoyed doing and I didn't know it at the time, but looking back, I can see that I thought I had a pretty good handle on this whole parenting thing. I thought I had the marriage thing pretty well figured out as well.

I really didn't think that much could change that. If you had asked me if I thought there was ever a chance of Jason and I having huge obstacles to overcome in our marriage, I think I would have pretty confidently said no.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but three was the magic number for me! In this short season of having sweet Sarah in our lives, God has broken me in so many ways of my self-sufficiency and pride. I no longer feel as though I have all the answers to parenting. I no longer think that I can control my kids and be the world's best momma. I no longer think that homeschooling will be easy and smooth.

I have felt in the most tangible way EVER that I cannot do anything in my own strength and wisdom. I NEED THE LORD.

I remember telling a friend of mine, "well, if we have three kids and it's beyond my abilities, that's ok, becuase it just means I will have to depend on the Lord more." Boy, is that ever the truth?! It is so true, so true.

And I am here to tell you that it has been a WONDERFUL thing.  Absolutely amazing. Being SO aware of my dependency on Jesus has been so freeing. It has made me a more compassionate person and it has drawn me closer to my father in Heaven. It has forced me to hand each of my children, and my marriage, over to the Lord on a daily basis.  An hourly basis. It's beyond me. I am incapable of building a strong family and strong children. I really am. I mess up in so many ways. But you know what, it's ok, because God comes through. He fills the gaps and He works miracles. He also gives the the strength, energy, and ability to keep on going at this thing called life. He teaches me, He puts people in my life to encourage me, and He equips me. And when I mess up, He graciously forgives me, and helps me to learn from my mistakes and to move on.

So my challenge to you is to ask yourself if you've got it all under control. Do you feel as though you have a good handle on your kids and marriage? Do you think you've got it in the bag? If you do, maybe you could ask God to help you in that area. It's hard, it's hard to feel in over your head, but to be completely dependent on the Lord, is the best gift ever.

I love my three little monkeys and the way they have stretched my faith in so many ways. I am so thankful for the gift of raising them, and I am so thankful to know that they are actually my father in Heavens children.  He loves them more than I do, with a love that is perfect and pure. He wants good things for them and He has a plan for them.  Thank you Lord for the gift of raising and training these precious souls.  Help me to do well by them and to point them to you.

To Live is Christ

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the holy spirit who has been given to us.
Romans 5:4

In the past, I have looked at this verse and thought that in order for me to get to the hope part of this verse, I needed to endure and do a "good" job at suffering. I thought that I had to keep a smile on my face, and stay positive no matter what was going on around me and in me. Last year at this time, there were many days where I had no joy or hope. I felt defeated and I did not have the energy to pretend that I was enjoying the suffering that our family endured. At times, I was scared to talk to my friends because I didn't want them to hear how upset I was at our circumstances and that even though I loved the Lord, I didn't really trust Him at the moment, and in fact, I questioned His heart.

What I have learned is that God isn't afraid of those questions. He isn't afraid or intimidated by the hard questions that we sometimes ask of Him. He doesn't get offended and cower away from us for fear of being hurt. He is SO MUCH BIGGER than I ever gave Him credit for.

To me, I thought suffering well meant being a Polly Anna.

I feel like, in this season, I am to the hope part. I have learned that surrendering to myself, coming to the absolute end of myself, and seeking the Lord from a different angle other than the surface level "God is good and He has done so many good things in my life," HE brought me to the hope and endurance through suffering. It wasn't/isn't something I did. It was something Jesus did. He brought me through suffering and gave me endurance, character, and hope. It was 100 percent a work of HIM, not anything I was/am capable of doing.

I love how God did indeed, use suffering to strip me of my self-sufficiency and of my pride. He showed me that I was/am absolutely incapable of controlling my life. EVERY gift, from the breath I am taking right now, to the financial provision of our family, to the ability to love my family well, EVERY GIFT is indeed a GIFT from Him.

Thank you Jesus. This verse has been on my heart the last several days. I'm really trying to embrace what it means.

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Philipians 1:21

I have a strong desire and excitement to be in Heaven with Jesus. I know everything about an eternal life with the Lord and my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ will surpass this world. I am excited about it.  Very excited about it. When I see all the things in this world that are falling apart, I am hopeful that the end is drawing near.  I want suffering and pain to come to an end.

However, as strong as that desire is, I am still here.  And I think the desire to leave is a little bit selfish.

So for me to live, is to do a work for Christ. Not because that is how I get Him to love me. Not so that I can prove myself to others. But because for me to live on this earth, is to be a servant of Jesus Christ. It is my joy and honor to cling so tightly to Jesus that others will benefit from it. It starts in my home, and I am so passionate about pointing my kids to their perfect father in Heaven. For me to die would be a personal gain, but for me to stay here...means to be disciplined in  the task I have before me. It's an honor, it's a privilege to serve the Lord.  And I want to be an agent here on the Earth that leads others to enter into a relationship with Jesus. I want to be used so that more and more people will have the security and hope of an eternal life worshiping our creator.

Dear Jesus, help me to remember, even when things are hard, that my time on this earth is limited. One day, I will be in Heaven with you, but until that day, please help me to be mindful of all the people in my life and in my influence, who do not yet know you. Please be working in the hearts around me and give me opportunities to share your love for them, with them. I love you Jesus. Amen.

The 2nd Annual Jumbo Hunt

The Annual Jumbo Hunt is this weekend! Invite your friends!

**reposted from the archives

While

we

were

still

sinners,

Christ

died

for

us

and

did

really

cool

things,

like

blessed

our

efforts

to

serve

the

community.

Amazing.

And

this

is

only

the

beginning.

I

am

excited!!

ps. we no longer meet at Spring Branch Middle School, we currently meet at Bill Brown Elementary and we have a great set-up going on there! Join us! Christ has risen!