Seasons

I have been thinking a lot about the different seasons of my life. When Jason and I first got married, we served students and their families. (Or at least we tried too!) I was constantly surrounded by young people and their parents. I learned SO MANY THINGS about parenting from being around parents who would say things to me like, "don't let it bother you that he wears his shoes on the wrong feet!" "Try not to get irritated when he is screaming in the car seat because the seams of his socks aren't laying perfectly." " Enjoy your time with them because they will be in high school like mine before you can blink. I promise." " Enjoy the messes, they are not that big of a deal." "Give him his own basket of toys to play with only while you are putting your make-up on so that he isn't breaking yours."  And so forth. I took these to heart and it has blessed the toddler years in our home in many ways. I am so thankful for their words of wisdom.

I also have gone through seasons in life where we had college students in our home frequently. College students are the best. They are so eager and excited to change the world. And they believe that they can. They haven't been worn down by life and they think the sky is the limit. They are so passionate about sharing their faith and they just pretty much rock. I love them.

I had a very short (ha, because we had kids so fast...), season where I promised myself I would do this and I wouldn't do that when I was a parent. Granted, I saw lots of kids in churches where the families where not as united as the front they put on.  I saw the impact many things going on inside of homes had on kids, so I did learn many things that I truly hope God uses to protect our family. But many of the things were also silly, and I have learned not to make promises like, "I will never", or "we will never," or "they will never..."  Parenting is so humbling. Oh so humbling. I love how God has taught me that yes, I am a steward of the little ones He is placed in my care, and what a tremendous blessing that is. I take it very seriously. However, at the end of the day, they belong to Him and He created them with their own wills, personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. They are not an extension of me. They are individuals and I cannot control them.

I don't know what I would call the season I am in right now. I am encouraged at the things God has for us, and I am also a little bit weary. I have come to a place where I know I am incredibly limited and I am very dependent on God's provision every day in every area of my life. I need Him. That is freeing bc I know I do not carry the weight alone, and I also need to set parameters around my life to protect myself from using my time and energy in the wrong places. I am thankful for so many things, blessed beyond measure and determined to persevere.

The beauty to me, of the seasons I speak of, is that it is so wonderful to have friends in my life who come from each place. They are so encouraging to me. It is so cool, even if it is only on fb, to see young, college-aged friends, writing things on their walls about how awesome the God they serve is. There passion is contagious. There energy is inspiring. It's so cool to see friends of mine having their first child and watching the sheer delight on their faces, the indescribable love, and the euphoria before sleep deprivation comes along. (Hee hee.)

And then to hear all the way across the spectrum to friends whose children are newly married or whose parents are elderly or have passed. It's encouraging for me to hear about the struggle that it is to let your children go and to watch them start their own families because it makes me feel normal at the struggles I had as I left my family of origin and started creating my own family.  It's a good reminder for me to remember that my parents will not always be around and I want to love them well while they are here.

I guess some things that all of these seasons have in common is that they all have beauty beyond words. Life is rich with delight and good gifts. They all have the potential of excruciating pain or loss because to love fully is also to potentially lose a whole heck of a lot. They all take work and can be dauntingly hard. And most importantly, they are all worth it. The things asked of me may be beyond my natural abilities, but my daddy in Heaven has been,  and always will be with me on the journey. Thank you Jesus.

Happy Birthday Month Jesus

Several years ago, I struggled over what Christmas would look like for our family. Being a new, young, passionate follower of Christ, I felt the American way sort of cheapened the miracles I had experienced in my life and the abundance of Christ's love. I even considered boycotting Christmas. I think there was a year that I didn't put up a tree. Granted, I had little babies and not a lot of space, but I wasn't overly concerned about not having a tree.

Santa seemed to have stole the show and I felt very uncomfortable about it. And then I had that whole mentality, of "well, aren't we supposed to celebrate Jesus everyday?" "What's the big deal about this time of year? After all, it isn't even really the right time of the year that Jesus was born." I wrestled.

I had singing Santa's, reindeer, and bears that sang about grandma getting hit by reindeer. All of it felt completely separate from something so sacred and Holy, like the birth of my Savior into the world.

One day, I remember it so vividly, I got all the Santa decor, the singing reindeer's, etc and I threw them all in the trash. It felt very drastic and I worried that I was losing it. Dylan cried when he realized his beloved toys were gone. (Thankfully he does not remember that:)). I wrote a blog posts asking for opinions and ideas and that only reiterated to me that I was a little on the crazy side, because let's face it, Santa is fun, and who wants to spoil the fun?? Why not do both? Well, I couldn't do both. It wasn't possible for me. I think I tend to be pretty extreme, it's just how God made me, maybe that's good, maybe not. Sometimes it helps me in things, and sometimes it makes things ridiculously hard.

So this year, after 7 years of making changes, it's Christmas time and I am here to tell you that I am beside myself with giddiness as I celebrate and relish in the love of my Savior. I am in love with all the beautiful Christmas lights. I could sing my heart out when I sing the lyrics to some of my favorites like, O Holy Night. The words are so rich and meaningful. I want to go places and do things to get all I can get out of the season. I want to be with my loved ones. I want to buy a few, just a few, special gifts for the people I love. I am not stressed out about buying everyone a gift, because I hope others in my life will understand that it wouldn't be wise for me to do so. But the gifts I have selected, they are simple and hopefully meaningful. I am excited about giving our kids the 3-4 presents that we picked out for each of them. I know they will enjoy them. I had good intentions to do other things, like The Jesse Tree, but I haven't quite arrived there.

My point is that Christmas feels more pure to me this year. I have a feeling it will continue evolving into something more and more beautiful for us, but this year, it just feels right. I don't hate Santa, I don't shield my kids from him or anything crazy like that, but he just really isn't a very big deal to us. And even though I worried about it, I think my kids are doing just fine without him. In fact, I know they are.

One of my friends wrote a post where she mentioned the difference between the joy of an amusement park and the joy of being in nature. It feels like that to me. I have been to several amusement parks, and they are fun, but seeing the mountains that surround Lake Tahoe, or the beaches in Hawaii, or the scenery in the hill country, reach places in my soul that cotton candy and Ferris wheels just can't quite match.

Sorry Santa, you've been outdone.

A special thanks to those who went against the current before me and gave me the courage to change.

Life's Healing Choices- Choice Eight

Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires.
Matthew 5:10

If I could sum up chapter 8 in one sentence, it would be this quote from the book.

God is bigger than anyone who hurts you. (or anything that has hurt you.) No matter what other people have done to you, God can recycle it and use it for good. God never wastes a hurt. But you can waste it, if you don't learn from it and share it. Others will be blessed and encouraged if you share the problems and struggles you've gone through. God can and will use your pain to help others, if you let Him.

(I added "or anything that hurts you" because sometimes life just hurts, pain is not always tied up in another person.)

I can't think of much worse than bottling up the things God has done for me and keeping it to myself. That's not how He works, and I certainly don't want to live that way. In fact, the only reason that I can think of keeping hurts, habits, and hang-ups completely to myself would be for the sake of keeping my pride and reputation in tact. I am almost over worrying about what people think of me. I am getting closer and closer to the point of only caring about the glory God receives, and less about myself receiving glory. The truth is that I don't ever want people to think that my faith, or my relationship with Jesus is any more sacred than the relationship that is available to all of us. I am nothing special. Well, I am special because I am a daughter of the king, but that is the only reason.  Jesus has freed me from things and he continues to and anything good that comes from me is only because of the work he is doing in me.

So like I said, I am almost to the point of not caring what other people think of me. But I have not arrived.  I have shared some on here and with friends, and I have gone to DEEP places with some people, but I thought surely that wouldn't happen again.  At least not anytime soon. But I was wrong. As I prayed about who God would have me recycle my pain for and share my story with, he pretty clearly brought a certain woman to my mind. I called her today and I just have to say that He is so faithful and so amazing.

I called my friend, not sure exactly what I would say, or exactly what I would share, but the conversation just flowed so naturally and she said to me, "it is so amazing that you called me today and are speaking to me about the thing that has been such a burden to me here lately."  Wow. Our stories are similar and I knew they were, but I didn't know how similar. We were able to encourage each other and now we can walk alongside each other as we heal from the pain in our pasts. Recycling pain. Beautiful. Amazing. Worth it.

I also want to REDUCE pain by sharing my story.  Because friends, doing things that God says not to do always, always, ALWAYS has a price tag. And it's not because He is a mean God, it's because He is an extremely loving God. So if you are choosing to live outside of God's will right now...STOP!!! Please, please, please. Seek God. Turn your life around and begin the path to healing. I know it is so hard to take that first step, and I know it's sometimes easier to stay in the land of what's comfortable and known, but in the end...IT"S NOT EASIER. And it's not worth it!! Sin always has a price, and you never know how much that price will be or how long it will haunt you. And if you are a parent, you never know what YOUR sin will cost your kids. Don't fool yourself and think you can separate them from it.  Believe me, I am paying the price for sin that was in my life many, many years ago and my hurts, habits, and hang-ups do not just effect me. They effect everyone that is close to me.

...and that, my friends, is the end of this book, but the beginning of a healthier life for me! Thank you for joining me!!

Choice 8
Yield myself to God to be used to bring this good news to others, both by my example and by my words.


Recap of the previous beatitudes that we have covered...

Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor; the Kingdom of heaven belongs to them! (This is about acknowledging our need for God.)

Happy are those who mourn; God will comfort them! (This isn't just about crying, it's about crying OUT TO GOD!!)

Happy are those who are humble; they will receive what God has promised. (This is about acknowledging that we are not in charge of the universe, Jesus is. It's about surrendering to Him.)

Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires; God will satisfy them fully.  (This is the continual, life-long choice to always seek after what God desires.)

Happy are those who are merciful to others; God will be merciful to them. ( Choosing to forgive because God has forgiven us, resentment doesn't work, and in the future I will need forgiveness.)

Happy are the pure in heart; they will see God. (Confess your deepest regrets, fears, and concerns to safe people. Satan likes to keep our secrets in the dark and that is where they grow!! Light exposes darkness for what it is and makes it dissipate!)

Happy are those who work for peace; God will call them his children. (Let's quit feeling entitled and causing bickering!! Let it go!! Strive for peace in your marriage, in your relationships, at your work, etc.!)



The Crossing's website where you can find encouraging messages that enhance the journey of this book and healing journey:)

Life's Healing Choices- Choice Seven

Can I just be honest? For some reason, I am having a really hard time recapping this chapter and what it has meant to me. It's so huge that I am tempted to elaborate way too much, and yet it is so simple that I feel like I could just write two sentences and be done with it.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Matthew 5:6

Reading my bible has changed me in many ways. Studying my bible has opened my eyes to a whole new world. Living out what I read in my bible has given me confidence. Finding others who believe the same things I believe has given me courage. Stepping out in faith has helped me to believe with total confidence that God's word really is true, no matter what my feelings are. Having a husband who loves the Lord, and others in my life who love the Lord, has caused me to hold fast when I've thought about throwing in the towel.  All of these together have been a safety net of a sort for my life, and I need them all because life is hard, and God didn't ask me to follow him in a vacuum .

As a baby christian, I knew so little of what it meant to live a life that was pleasing to the Lord. I had no idea how to develop a relationship with my father in heaven who loves me so much. So many times, I think we have been failed, and we fail others when we tell them that the "secret" to knowing God and to living a life of freedom is just to "read your bible and pray." Yes, reading God's word, and talking to Abba father are so critical to our lives as Christians. But this book, (Life's Healing Choices, which is a exposition of the beatitudes), is full of such a few powerful, yet life-changing truths that I believe will continue to equip me in the future, and that I hope to share with others as they are learning how to be freed from the things in life that constantly hold them down.

So I will share one thing that has changed for me since I started reading this book and meditating on these scriptures. Here recently, I have been freed from some things of my past that I think were causing me to be at this place where I was ready to attack and fire back when and if I started to feel threatened. Anger was my cue. In the past, I think I would just go with it and get way too riled up about whatever the mishap was. Now, I am watching myself get a little upset about something, but then I can take a step back, ask myself why I am feeling angry, and then I evaluate if whatever it is really is worth getting so upset about. 99.9% of the time, it isn't. Maybe something bothered me, but lately, I can just address that one little issue, without being all bent out of shape, and then just leave it be no matter the outcome, without getting all mad and defensive. It's beautiful.  And the issue can be the issue, instead of the hundred other issues that I had never dealt with. 

So how can I know that I will continue in this pattern? How do I know that this won't be just a season and then I will forget and go right back to where I was??

That's where chapter seven comes in,  it's about maintaining momentum and here is the truth, the second I start thinking I have got this in the bag, well that will be and is the second I fall on my face again. God has me in this sweet place right now, and the only way I can stay in this place of freedom, is if I continually stay connected to Him.  Staying connected to Him (through the ways I mentioned above...), maintaining momentum, and preventing relapses is my goal. A relapse for me is just going back to that yucky place where my heart is not in tuned to His and I get more and more pulled by the world and the things it has to offer (ie. false security, false ways of feeling accepted and loved, selfishness, being a consumer, etc.).

One really cool tool that Chapter 7 provided was this...it's an emotional check.

H- am I hurting?
E- am I exhausted?
A- am I angry?
R- do I have resentment?
T-  do I have tension?

I can go through this little check real quickly and pinpoint what's going on in my heart when I am feeling off. I love it.  Quick and simple.

Choice Seven
Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.

Recap of the previous beatitudes that we have covered...

Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor; the Kingdom of heaven belongs to them! (This is about acknowledging our need for God.)

Happy are those who mourn; God will comfort them! (This isn't just about crying, it's about crying OUT TO GOD!!)

Happy are those who are humble; they will receive what God has promised. (This is about acknowledging that we are not in charge of the universe, Jesus is. It's about surrendering to Him.)

Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires; God will satisfy them fully.  (This is the continual, life-long choice to always seek after what God desires.)

Happy are those who are merciful to others; God will be merciful to them. ( Choosing to forgive because God has forgiven us, resentment doesn't work, and in the future I will need forgiveness.)

Happy are the pure in heart; they will see God. (Confess your deepest regrets, fears, and concerns to safe people. Satan likes to keep our secrets in the dark and that is where they grow!! Light exposes darkness for what it is and makes it dissipate!)

Happy are those who work for peace; God will call them his children. (Let's quit feeling entitled and causing bickering!! Let it go!! Strive for peace in your marriage, in your relationships, at your work, etc.!)

 

(Sorry if this is all over the place, again, I am having a hard time recapping this one!!)

Why I Keep Drinking the Pine Cove Kool-Aid

The first year I went to PC, I cried when we got home. I cried because my experience at PC was so wonderful and I did not want to abandon the wonderful things that I had experienced there. Over the years, I have tried to put my finger on what is so wonderful about it and these are a few conclusions I have come to.

1. Prayer.
Everything about PC has been prayed over and is being prayed over the entire time. God's presence is so tangible and evident at PC.

2. Real Community.
The relationships and community that I have experienced at PC are amazing. Everyone is there for similar reasons and we all share the same desire to connect with our families, with God, and sometimes with each other, ( I mention the last part, because sometimes I have been there with no energy to "reach" out to anyone outside of my family, yet God still provides those relationships and connections. It's a beautiful thing.)

2. Worship.
While at PC, there are no outside distractions, and everything is done with a heart of worship. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." This is true at PC. Everything is intentional and the grounds become a haven.

3. Servanthood
One of the things I have learned through PC is that to be a servant of Christ doesn't mean to serve only when it is convenient or easy. The students in particular at PC serve the heck out of the families there. And they work HARD. They work LONG hours and the entire time, you never see them serving without a smile on their faces, and/or begrudgingly. They have loved on my kids, served us countless meals, and offered encouragement through who they are in more ways than I could ever count.

4. Vulnerability.
PC has been a safe place for me to share with others about the struggles we have endured. I have received love and rest there.  I have heard more men and women be vulnerable with their hearts in the large group sessions than I have ever heard probably in my life. It is amazing to hear the challenges other families are enduring and then to see God work in mighty ways as they share and are open to prayer and/or help.  At the end of the week, there are opportunities to share what God has done, and it is so amazing. I have seen marriages redeemed, I have seen people get saved, I have learned MIGHTY lessons myself, and I have heard testimonies that would rock anyone's world.

5. Fun.
Jason and I have so much FUN with our kids when we are at PC. It is a chance to be set up for many, many opportunities to do nothing else but have fun with the kids. They make it easy and available, all you have to do is take the bait.  Boat rides, horse rides, zip lines, ice cream and late-night snacks, swimming, skits, games and fishing are just the first few that come to the top of my mind.

6. Challenges.
I have seen my kids overcome fears and take opportunities to be brave and courageous while at PC. I think it is because it is a safe environment and the kids sense that.

7. Generational Lines.
At PC,  college-aged kids hang out with babies, preschoolers, parents, and grandparents...and every other combination. Everyone at camp becomes a true family and the bonds that are made have made an incredible impression on my kids, and on myself. I have seen the value of spending time with not just my peers, but with people of all different ages and walks of life at PC. 

8. Refreshment and Focus
Every year at PC is an opportunity for Jason and I to step back and evaluate the direction of our family. It is also a chance to refocus and get back on track if we need to.  We also receive training and instruction for our marriage and as parents.  Every year, I walk away with truth(s) more deeply ingrained into my heart, and with tangible ways to walk them out.

As I step back from PC, I realize that PC does a good job of painting a picture of what the church, the body of Christ, should look like. This is my dream for what every church should look like, and I think it is a glimpse of what heaven will look like.

http://www.pinecove.com/

Little House on the Freeway

Couldn't we all use a little help when it comes to being taken captive by this fast paced world? I know it takes work and effort for me to truly connect with the people in my life. It's easy to just let life happen and to feel exhausted while also feeling like I am not accomplishing meaningful things. "Little House on the Freeway", combined with meditating on scripture, has been one agent in helping to live a quiet, peaceful life, even when the world is spinning around me so quickly. I thought maybe someone out there would benefit from this list like I did....enjoy!!


1. Pay off your credit cards, and keep them paid off.
2. Take off ten pounds (at least), or accept where you are without anymore complaints.
3. Eat dinner together as a family at least three nights a week.
4. Men: take your wife on a dialogue date. (No movies, guys.)
5. Read your kids a classic book. Twain's a good start.
6. Memorize the Twenty-Third Psalm as a family.
7. Give each family member a hug for twenty-one days in a row. (That's how long the experts say it takes to develop a habit.)
8. Pick at least three nights a week when the television will be off.
9. Go out for a non-fast food dinner as a family.
10. Pray for your spouse and children everyday.
11. Plan a vacation together.
12. Take a vacation together.
13. Read a chapter from the bible everyday until it becomes habit.
14. Sit together as a family in church.
15. Surprise your teenager: wash his car and fill his tank up with gas.
16. Take an afternoon off work and surprise your child by excusing her from school and taking her to a ballgame.
17. Take a few hours one afternoon as a family and go to the library.
18. Take a walk as a family.
19. Write each member of your family a letter sharing why you value them.
20. Give your spouse a weekend getaway with a friend to a place of his or her choice.
21. Go camping as a family.
22. Go to bed early (one hour before your normal bedtime) every day for a week.
23. Take each of your children out to breakfast (individually) four or five times a year throughout their childhood.
24. Text message your kids just to tell them you love them.
25. Religiously wear your seat belts.
26. Get a complete physical at least every five years.
27. Exercise a little at least three days out of every week.
28. Make sure you have adequate life insurance on both you and your spouse.
29. Write out details about finances, wills, and important business information that your spouse can use to keep things under control in the event of your death.
30. Make sure your family car is safe (tires, brakes, etc.) and get it tuned up.
31. Replace the batteries in the smoke alarms.
32. Put a security system in your house.
33. Attend the parent/teacher meetings of each child as a couple.
34. Help your kids with their homework.
35. Dads: watch the kids on Saturday while your wife goes shopping. And if a friend calls, don't say you are babysitting. You are just being a dad.
36. Have a "no Internet, email, IM, texting night" once a week.
37. Put together a picture puzzle of five hundred pieces or more as a family.
38. Take time during the week to read a Bible story to your children and then discuss it with them.
39. Encourage each child to submit to you his or her most perplexing question, and promise you will either answer it or discuss it.
40. Finish fixing something around the house.
41. Tell your kids how you and your spouse met.
42. Tell your kids about your first date.
43. Sit down and write your parents a letter thanking them for a specific thing they did for you.  (Don't forget to send it!)
44. Spend and evening out as a family when every one's cell phone is left at home.
45. Keep a prayer journal for a month. Keep track of specific ways God meets your needs.
46. Do some stargazing away from the city with your family, and help your children identify constellations. Conclude the evening with prayer to the majestic God who created the heavens.
47. Men: treat your wife to a beauty makeover (massage, facial, manicure, haircut, etc.).
48. Give your kids an alternative to watching Saturday morning cartoons (breakfast at McDonald's, garage sales, the park, chores, etc.).
49. Ask your children about the highlights or low points of the day at school.
50. After you make your next major family decision, take your children back through the process and teach them how you arrived at your decision.
51. Start saying to yourself, my car doesn't look so bad.
52. Call your spouse from work just to see how he or she is doing.
53. Complete a family tree, and teach your children the history of their ancestors.
54. Walk through an old graveyard with your children, and discuss the epitaphs.
55. Say no to at least one thing a day, even if it's a second piece of pie.
56. The next time you see a great and redemptive show on TV, write a letter to the network that broadcast the show thanking them for the investment in your family.
57. Turn off the lights and turn on some inspirational music as you focus on the Lord.
58. Write a note to your pastor thanking him for something.
59. Take back all the books in your library that actually belong in someone else's library.
60. Give irritating drivers the right to pull in front of you without signaling; don't yell at them.
61. Make every effort not to let the sun go down on your anger.
62. Accept legitimate criticism from your spouse or friend without reacting or defending yourself.
63. If your car has a christian bumper sticker on it, drive accordingly.
64. Maintain ongoing training and  development as a spouse, a parent, or a grandparent.
65. Make a list of people who have hurt your feelings over the past year; then check your list to see if you've forgiven them.
66. Make a decision to honor your parents, even if they have made a career out of dishonoring you.
67. Dads; take your kids to the dentist or doctor for your wife.
68. Play charades with your family, but limit subjects to memories of the past.
69. Men: clean up the kitchen for your wife. Women: clean up the garage for your husband.
70. Schedule yourself a free day during summer break to stay home with your family.
71. Get involved in a family project that helps or serves someone less fortunate.
72. As a family, get involved in a recreational activity.
73. Men: send your wife flowers.
74. Spend an evening going through old pictures from family vacations.
75. Take a weekend once a year for you and your spouse to get away and renew your relationship.
76. Praise your spouse and children- in their presence- to someone else.
77. Discuss a world or national problem, and ask your children for their opinion on it.
78. Wait up for your teenagers when they are out on a date.
79. Have a "quiet Sunday"- no television, no radio, no iPods...no kidding.
80. If your children are little, spend an hour playing with them each week- but let them determine the game.
81. Have your parents tell your children about life when they were young.
82. Give up TV shows that prey on your sexual fantasies.
83. De clutter your house.
84. If you have a habit of late-night television but have to be at work early every morning, change your habit.
85. Don't accept unnecessary business breakfast appointments.
86. E-mail missionaries regularly.
87. Go through your closets, and give everything you haven't worn in a year to a relief organization.
88. Become a faithful and frequent visitor of your church's library.
89. Become a monthly sponsor of a Third World child.
90. Keep each child's memento's, school projects, awards, etc., in a separate file. You'll appreciate these when they have left the nest.
91. Read the biography of a missionary or a great Christian leader from history.
92. Give regularly and faithfully to conscientious church endeavors.
93. Place with your will a letter to each family member telling why you were glad you got to share life with him or her.
94. Go through your CD's, DVD's, and downloads, and discard any that might be a bad example to your children.
95. Furnish a corner of a room with comfortable chairs and declare it the "disagreement corner." When a conflict arises, go to this corner and don't leave until it's resolved.
96. Give each child the freedom to pick his or her favorite dinner menu at least once a month.
97. Go over to a shut-in's house as a family, and completely clean it and get the yard work done.
98. Call an old friend from your past just to see how he or she is getting along.
99. Get a good friend to hold you accountable for a specific important need (Bible reading, prayer, spending time with your family, losing a few pounds, etc.).
100. Establish a budget and live on it.
101. Go to a Christian marriage enrichment seminar at least every other year.

This list is taken from this book, and the book is a great read, as is everything by Tim Kimmel:). 

Our Homeschool Day Part II

According to the curriculum's I have chosen, to go through a years worth of Math, we need to do 4 lessons per week. Science is 3 lessons per week. I have determined accordingly with our other subjects.  Because we can pick and choose between 3-4 subjects a day, I came up with this little chart to help me stay accountable. It's also a way that Jason and I can communicate in case he decides he wants to hang with the boys and do some formal schooling. He can look at this chart and see what holes need to be filled for the current week.

It's hanging in our pantry:)

 Here is what we did this morning between subjects...

I am often too quick to forget how good a little sunshine and fresh air is for the well-being of the household! I am not going to lie, this 700 degree weather has kept us indoors a little more. With the exception of swimming, of course!! It has been brutal.

Jason is cleaning up around the yard today to get ready for our Labor Day block party and the boys have been helping him.  That's another plus.

Have I mentioned that homeschooling has been such a blessing for us? Happy Labor Day!!

Our Homeschool Day

Three Little Monkeys

When Jason and I had two children, we had a pretty cozy little life. I was able to do so many things with the boys that I enjoyed doing and I didn't know it at the time, but looking back, I can see that I thought I had a pretty good handle on this whole parenting thing. I thought I had the marriage thing pretty well figured out as well.

I really didn't think that much could change that. If you had asked me if I thought there was ever a chance of Jason and I having huge obstacles to overcome in our marriage, I think I would have pretty confidently said no.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but three was the magic number for me! In this short season of having sweet Sarah in our lives, God has broken me in so many ways of my self-sufficiency and pride. I no longer feel as though I have all the answers to parenting. I no longer think that I can control my kids and be the world's best momma. I no longer think that homeschooling will be easy and smooth.

I have felt in the most tangible way EVER that I cannot do anything in my own strength and wisdom. I NEED THE LORD.

I remember telling a friend of mine, "well, if we have three kids and it's beyond my abilities, that's ok, becuase it just means I will have to depend on the Lord more." Boy, is that ever the truth?! It is so true, so true.

And I am here to tell you that it has been a WONDERFUL thing.  Absolutely amazing. Being SO aware of my dependency on Jesus has been so freeing. It has made me a more compassionate person and it has drawn me closer to my father in Heaven. It has forced me to hand each of my children, and my marriage, over to the Lord on a daily basis.  An hourly basis. It's beyond me. I am incapable of building a strong family and strong children. I really am. I mess up in so many ways. But you know what, it's ok, because God comes through. He fills the gaps and He works miracles. He also gives the the strength, energy, and ability to keep on going at this thing called life. He teaches me, He puts people in my life to encourage me, and He equips me. And when I mess up, He graciously forgives me, and helps me to learn from my mistakes and to move on.

So my challenge to you is to ask yourself if you've got it all under control. Do you feel as though you have a good handle on your kids and marriage? Do you think you've got it in the bag? If you do, maybe you could ask God to help you in that area. It's hard, it's hard to feel in over your head, but to be completely dependent on the Lord, is the best gift ever.

I love my three little monkeys and the way they have stretched my faith in so many ways. I am so thankful for the gift of raising them, and I am so thankful to know that they are actually my father in Heavens children.  He loves them more than I do, with a love that is perfect and pure. He wants good things for them and He has a plan for them.  Thank you Lord for the gift of raising and training these precious souls.  Help me to do well by them and to point them to you.

In My Shoes

"In my shoes" is a weekly series that is updated every Thursday. I hope you enjoy the following post and that like me, you will learn more about a different walk of life, which will help you to love better! We love comments or likes and would love to have you follow this series with us. We have some amazing women and amazing topics to share. If you have something YOU would like to write about, please contact me!

Lydia Lee Sullivan died on March 2, 2009. She was my best friend. My partner in crime. My laughing buddy. Bryce’s number ONE girl. She was my mom. 


In September of 2008, my family moved from Houston to Helotes. Prior to that…we had lived no farther than 10 minutes from my mom. I saw her everyday and talked to her no less than 10 times a day. Leaving the comfort of living by my mommy was tough. I had always declared that I would “NEVER LEAVE HOUSTON!” no matter what! I loved it there and leaving was not an option. Plus…I just liked being close to my mom. When the opportunity came for our family to move…for some reason I jumped on it. God placed a very evident peace about the move on my heart. I just knew it was time for us to go. 


One month after we moved…my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. During this time, our brand new baby was in the hospital (you can read all about that on a previous post). I needed my mom so much. I was always able to depend on her. She helped me with EVERYTHING in my life…and honestly…I flat out didn’t know how to make a decision without her. Do not get me wrong… I didn’t always FOLLOW her advice…but I always needed to know what it was. This time I REALLY needed her, but she could not help me. She was in pain. She was bleeding and tired and on pain pills.

I was mad at her for being sick. How dare she get sick when I needed her the MOST! How could she allow this to happen right now? I was in denial. I told her the doctors were probably wrong. I would quietly (at night safe and cozy in our bed) admit to Justin that I knew my mom was going to die soon. I knew it was coming. But I was not going to believe it. More denial. 


My life around me was flourishing. I was meeting new friends that I connected with in a way that I had never connected with friends EVER. My church family was becoming a greater part of my life. My kids were being loved on by our community. My mothers “grasp” was loosening…and neither of us had anything to do with that.


God was preparing both of us for when she would go. He was teaching me that I could survive without her…he was teaching her that I could survive without her. 


I still talked to her 9868374 times a day. Except for on March 2, 2009. 


I had spent the day with my best friend. I shared so much with her that day. I told her of the agony I had to deal with concerning my moms two other children. I told her how sick my mom was. I told her how dependent I had always been on my mom. It felt so great to share with someone…and she just listened. 


That night…I was getting ready to crawl in bed with Justin when my phone rang. I had been trying to reach my mom for hours…I NEVER went to bed without saying goodnight to her. I was so annoyed when the phone finally rang…I mean…where had she been?! It was not her on the other end…it was a man. A stranger. He said he was Dr. blah blah calling me because Lydia Lee Sullivan had died of a heart attack. I didn’t even ask him any questions. I just hung up the phone…walked to my closet and began packing my suitcase. I stood there crying and asked Justin… “what do you wear to your moms funeral?”


The next few days were a blur. I was so so numb. The horrible things that my moms kids (they are from another marriage) said and did during this time are just too embarrassing to write. They did not help me plan the funeral at all. They had plenty of excuses of course. 


How do you pick out a casket for your mom? They are all stupid and ugly. They are all overpriced. I hated them. A cement box to put my mommy in…no thank you!!! A $5,000 hole in the ground for it? No thank you. Flowers? Who wants flowers at a funeral. Not me. Flowers are pretty…funerals are not. Sad music? No. Hate it. 


I cried and cried over the funeral. What would she have wanted? What would she want to wear? Why did they make her look like that? Why was she so puffy looking? Does she wear shoes? Would she like the way she looked? NO! NO! NO!


I begged and begged God to help me with this. And well…He did. He sent me the most amazing comfort…and I had her cremated. I knew that was not what she wanted…but God let me know that it was OK. He let me know that it really didn’t matter at all. He already had her safe and sound and all this other stuff was a big fat waste. 


I was so glad when it was over. I was so done hugging people I had not seen in years…I was done pretending like I had anything in common with half the people that were there. I was done pretending like it was OK for Justin and my dad (they were no longer married) to pay for it all. I wanted to go HOME. 


I wanted to go to the NEW home that I made with my family. Justin and Bryce and Brody…and ME. I wanted to be with the friends that God had put in my life…just at the right time. Home.


Through this my marriage grew and grew and grew. I had to be a grown up and share my life with my spouse…which is what I should have been doing in the first place.  My faith grew even more. I had to learn to listen to the Lord’s whispers…instead of checking with my mom.  I can now hear the Lord speaking to me and can see Him working in my life. I was too distracted before to know or hear.

Do I really feel that my mom died so that I could FULLY accept the Lord 100% into my life? So that my marriage could become the amazing-ness of what it is? So that I could be the mom and friend that I am? Yeah…I really do.  


I miss her more than anything. It has been almost exactly two years. It seems so much longer. She was so funny and sarcastic and silly. It is weird not to have a mom. Mothers Day is weird. Christmas is weird. Lots of things are just weird. I want to hug her and share my life with her. I want to tell her things and laugh with her. I really want to call her. 


I am not sure how you are “supposed” to grieve. My mom is really the first person that I have ever known to die. I made the choice that I would be happy. I woke up one day about 2 weeks after she died and said “ok life…lets move on!” 


It was hard to do that…I thought I should be sad longer…I thought people would think I was weird if I wasn’t crying everyday still. That is just not the truth. I am not some superwoman or a woman blessed with lots of strength. I begged the Lord for strength…and well…once again He provided. 


He provided in the most delightful little package of Braxton Lee McElhannon. He gave us a new life to celebrate. Brax did NOT replace my mom…but he reminded me of Gods great gifts. It reminded me of the BIG picture. Not just the little tiny picture we have here on earth. This is great…but its NOTHING compared to the party to come! 


My heart breaks when my boys have firsts and my mom is not here to share in the delight. I am hurt that she never even got to see the chubbiest baby that we had. I hate that she doesn’t get to hear Brody’s laugh, see Bryce ride his bike and squeeze Braxton’s cheeks. “She is watching over you” does not comfort me at all. I don’t want her to watch OVER me…I want her real life body to stand NEXT to me. But…it cant. I don’t think that will ever get easier. BUT…God has granted me the comfort to know that it is OK. It will be OK. IT IS REALLY OK! 


There is really just so much more to share about the amazing woman that my mom was. There is so much more to the story before her death and of what transpired after. But this is the meat of it…the important parts (well to me anyways). This is the way that I have found comfort in her not being here. This is how I really know that its OK. And I really really know it is….because God says so.  

Written by Misty McElhannon.  

God's Kindness

My blogger friend, Amy, is doing a series on giving.  When I saw the series, I knew it was my chance to share about God's kindness to our family. You can find me here, or you can read below...

My husband is a pastor.  We are dependant on God’s people giving to the church as our way of providing for our family.  It’s helpful in viewing our income as a direct gift from God, although everyone’s is. He has been so faithful and blessed us more than we could have ever imagined!

In 2009, Jason and I took a step of faith and began the process of planting a church.  We went from working at an established church with a “secure” financial plan, to raising our salary and budget for our baby church plant.

We also had our third child in 2009.  After I delivered Sarah, I had several complications.  Complications that led to two ER visits, three surgeries, physical therapy, steroid injections, and the list goes on.  

Here we were, about to leave our “safe” church and start a new work that God had called us to and the medical bills were piling up faster than we could keep track.

Over the course of my illness, I was so thankful for the way my husband handled the stress of our bills.  I know that he struggles somewhat with trying to gain financial security, (what man doesn’t?). I never felt the weight or stress of his concerns through his behavior towards me. He was very gracious and just wanted me to get better, no matter the cost.  I was so thankful and it was one less thing that I really worried about.

After the dust settled, we were left with about $10,000 in medical bills.  Ten thousand dollars that we didn’t have and that we knew was going to take a while for us to pay off.  Jason has admitted that there were days that he was tempted not to tithe, and instead to pay off a medical bill here and a medical bill there.  But he didn’t.  And we just kept trusting in God that He would take care of our family like He always does.

One day Jason got a call from a friend at our previous church.  Someone had dropped off an envelope addressed to our family.  When Jason opened the card, inside was a cashier’s check for $10,000.  He immediately had to sit down because he was certain he was going to pass out!! Then he came home and handed the card to me and I thought for sure it must have been a joke.  I just kind of looked at him like, “um, this isn’t very funny.  Why are you tricking me like this??”  

It was real people.  Very real.  All I could think to myself was, “this is how much my daddy loves me.”  This is a gift from my father in Heaven who loves me and wants to bless me.  Why do I ever worry about anything?  Why do I ever doubt?  God isn’t bound by anything.  All of the creation bows down to Him.  All the money, it belongs to Him too.  He can do whatever He wants with it.  How silly am I to think that taking care of financial burdens is too insignificant for Him.  How blessed am I to have a Daddy who loves me like that.  Unbelievable.

Thank you Jesus.  And thank you to the anonymous giver who was used mightily by God in our life.

In My Shoes

"In my shoes" is a weekly series that is updated every Thursday. I hope you enjoy the following post and that like me, you will learn more about a different walk of life, which will help you to love better! We love comments or likes and would love to have you follow this series with us. We have some amazing women and amazing topics to share. If you have something YOU would like to write about, please contact me!



Mindy asked me to share my story about spending most of my life not knowing my biological father.  I am currently 31 years old and we have three young children in our home, which means all of my memories are a little foggy lately.  However, when I really think about it, I only have, at most, a handful of memories of my father.  Let me preface  these memories by sharing that the last time I ever saw the man was when I was seven years old.  So here is a quick recap.

I remember visiting him when he lived in San Antonio, but I only remember laughing and  having fun with him while also being scared and asking him if he took his medicine.  He struggled with a severe chemical imbalance that eventually led to extreme paranoid schizophrenia.

I remember seeing my mom crying as I could hear his voice screaming on the other end of the line.

I remember seeing him literally fight with my stepfather (more about him soon) and kick in a large window which caused glass to fly all over my baby sister Nicki.  Praise God she was miraculously unharmed.

I remember flying on an airplane and the stewardess (that’s what they were called back then) reading to me because I was nervous about flying by myself from San Antonio to Philadelphia.

I remember being in court and having to go into the judges chambers and explain, all by myself, with no leading, why I did not feel safe living with my father.

I remember seeing him at McDonalds in Kerrville, TX for what I did not know would be the last time.

Apparently there was much more to the story that I am thankful I cannot remember.  Like when I was an infant and my Dad literally kidnapped me from my mom in Philadelphia.  I was only returned when he pulled over because he was too drunk and/or high to keep driving and he called 911. 

Some of these experience’s help explain why I am the way that I am, both good and bad.  For example, I am extremely independent and if left alone to my own devices, I would probably spend all of my time alone.  Why?  I could guarantee that way no one else could hurt me. 

That same independence has led me on the other hand to be a leader much my life, not always to my liking I might add.  After all if as a kindergartner you can speak with a judge and help determine where you will live, what can't you do?

At the same time I have some serious trust issues which would make sense from some of the chaos that happened while I was a child, despite my families attempts to keep me safe.

There are days when I am fearful that I do not have what it takes to love my family how I desire, after all, this is where I came from.  Other times I wonder if some of the same chemical issues that haunted my father will work their way into my life.  Will the same thing happen to me, will I and my family be destroyed?  Will my grasp of reality slowly drift away and rob from me the very ones I love and cherish the most?  Will my ability to provide for them physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually begin to deteriorate before my very eyes?

None of our lives are easy, and we all have different baggage that takes part in shaping who we are and will become.  Those of you who are children of divorce know that there is plenty of blame and hurt to go around, and normally only a minute portion is actually justified.  Such was the case with me.  The amazing part of my story is that from as long as I can remember, I was blessed to have another father in my life, my stepdad.  In reality he is my father and I am his son, but for the sake of confusion I will refer to him as my stepdad in this setting.

You see the Bible says, "The LORD is near the brokenhearted; he delivers those who are discouraged."  If you are a child of divorce then I know you already know what it is like to be brokenhearted and discouraged.  If not, then I am fairly certain your life experience has led you through hurts and pains, just from a different perspective.  As I child I did not know this verse, or truth, or really anything about God.  All I knew is that I was brokenhearted, scared, and confused.  Little did I know that God truly was near, but in a way I would not understand for well over a decade.

You see God put this man in my life.  My stepdad, if you know our family then you probably know him by the name we call him, “Pop”.  All of my life, Pop, has loved me, even though I am not his flesh and blood, as his flesh and blood.  He has taught me what it is to have strong work ethic and good character.  He spend more hours then I can possibly remember investing in me, teaching me, coaching me, and spending time with me.  Even when he would discipline me, all my memories are of him doing so fairly, although I admit I never once thought it to be fair in the moment.  Even some of my most difficult memories, are him protecting me and the rest of our family from the man that biologically had that right.  He is and always has been a real man, a man's man.  Not concerned about how he looks on the outside but who he is and what his life would stand for.

Many years later as a young teenager I would learn about another father who had been near to me all my life and desired to deliver me from discouragement.  It was not for years after that until I began to understand what it meant to be a follower of this Jesus.  Yet, the more I began to know him,  the more I realized this to be true, "He is a father to the fatherless and an advocate for widows. God rules from his holy palace."  It was not until I truly began to know God, my father, that I began to appreciate all he had blessed me with in Pop. 

For most of my childhood,  I had a deep bitterness toward Pop, I blamed him for not knowing my father.  As a teenager this began to come out in ugly ways.  Time would end up revealing truth which allowed me to stop blaming Pop for things that were never his fault and God would allow me to see how he used Pop as his way of being near to me,  the fatherless. 

As I began to know Jesus better, and my desire to follow him grew, it was always easy for me to see God as a father figure.  It was easy because God gave me a representative on earth in Pop that allowed me to see him more clearly.  Pop was and is not perfect, but all of those wonderful attributes of his are Godly attributes that allowed me to view God for who HE truly is.  My Father, My Prince of Peace, My Lord, My Messiah, My Savior, My Friend, and My Rock.

Why do I share all of this with you today?  Well, if you are old enough to read this, you have most likely experienced the hurts and pains of life that leave us brokenhearted.  To be honest, it kinda sucks, this is the reality of the world we live in.  The great news is that there is one who is a father to all the fatherless, if you are willing to admit that you need a daddy.  Knowing Him might not make your circumstances better, it might not take all your fears away, but knowing Him will allow you to persevere.

Therein lies the next question, why should I persevere?  If you cannot guarantee it will get better, what is the point.  Well, as I shared earlier, I never know if today will be the day I begin hearing voices, seeing people who are not really there, or begin losing a grasp on reality in some other way.  What I do know is the world is full of fatherless children, of children who are brokenhearted, and discouraged.  But as long as God gives me breathe and his spirit is leading me that will not be my children.  Just as Pop showed me glimpses of God throughout my life, so do I seek to do with my children. 

Wait, the challenge does not end there.  My Pop has always been known and loved by his children but many others as well.  You see he is that guy that people ask to keep coaching kids sports teams for years after his children are grown.  He instilled in me another teaching of Jesus, to be leader not by right but by service, a servant leader. 

What children has God placed in your life?  How can He use you to be a part of healing their broken hearts?  Are they in your home?  In your neighborhood?  They are all around, what will they remember, what will they know from your influence?  More brokenness, more disappointment? 

My story begins with baggage, hurt, pain, disappointment, confusion, and who knows the same darkness that plagued my father may fall on me some day.  However, that is out of my control.  I am not a victim of my baggage, I am who I am in part because of my baggage.  God has used my baggage in part to reveal to me His grace and mercy, and all I am certain of is that I have today.  Today to show the brokenhearted around me a little glimpse of the grace and mercy I have found in Jesus.  To show those around me the father who will never leave, the father who will never lose his mind, the father who will never cause you to cry in those silent moments, the father who will never, ever break your heart.

Jason Carlettini.

Pre-Marital Counseling

One of the perks of being married to a pastor is that sometimes I get to do pre-marital counseling with couples that will soon be married by Jason.  We meet together, the four of us, and we work our way through this book.

It's a great book, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is in the engagement season of life.  But more than that, it is a great time of encouragement and it's one of my favorite things.

The first time Jason and I went through it with some friends, we started meeting when I was pregnant with Sarah.  We would meet once every 3 months or so, so the time frame spanned over Sarah being born, me having surgery, me being in constant pain, physical therapy, blah, blah, blah and the list goes on.  Needless to say, it was a very stressful time in our life and in our marriage.  Almost every time we were about to meet, I just thought it was comedic that we were about to sit with our engaged friends and talk about marriage when I felt like our was "at it's worst!"

One time, we were getting things ready for our time together and I told Jason I wasn't going.  Ha! I told him he could do the counseling session without me for all I cared.  Poor guy, that would have been so awkward for him having to explain why I wasn't there.   Thankfully for him, and for me, I went and we had a great visit.

Jason always does such a good job in talking about marital issues and I respect every word he says because I know he believes it and I know he tries.

Try as we all may, marriage is hard. If you are married and you are reading this, you know what I am talking about.  If you don't know what I am talking about, you will know one day.  Trust me.  Jason and I used to laugh and say that we didn't understand why everyone thought that marriage was hard.  Our marriage was a breeze, what could be so hard about it?!  And then the test of time prevailed, and we have definetely had times where we say, "this is HARD."

What I am learning though is that hard is ok.  One of the first things the book we go through talks about is the purpose of marriage and believe it or not, the purpose isn't about our own personal happiness and fulfillment.  Whew, I am thankful for that because I know I have failed at giving Jason's life fulfillment and happiness!

It's a design that God put together that reflects Himself and that brings glory to Himself.  Every time I think about that, or read about it in scripture, I am reminded at how petty some of the little things that I get so tripped up on can be!

"How can you use that tone with me??"  "What, are you saying I am dumb??"  And the list goes on.

Looking at marriage from a biblical perspective reminds me to keep fighting that good fight.  It reminds me to see the bigger picture and let the little things be little things. 

I'm thankful that I get to be married to Jason and that we get to be on this journey of life together.  I'm thankful for hard things and for God's bigger picture.

God, please help us to protect and fight for our marriages.  They are a gift and they are purposeful, even when things are HARD. 

If you don't know or believe what marriage is all about, or you are wondering if maybe yours is the exception and has no value, I highly recommend this book, or anything put out by Family Life.

Keep fighting friends!  And loving for that matter!  It's worth it...

Hello 2011

2011??  That just sounds so weird to say!  When did this happen??

We stayed up for the countdown last night.  It sure was fun.  I don't think we have done that in a while.  Jason made a fire pit and we had smores and fireworks. 

He's such a good party planner, that guy of mine.  I truly am blessed.  When we first got married and we would have parties, I would get all stressed out and run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get things done.  It didn't take long for me to learn that Jason had already thought everything out and was on top of it all.  Now I don't worry or get stressed out at all because I know my man is "Mr. Details."

We invited lots of friends, but most of them were busy with other things so we got some special, quality time with The Mosher's and The Asher's, some of our favorite people.

I love sparklers. Doing fireworks at our house with the family reminded me of my childhood. My dad would always put on quite a show for my friends and I.

Nana and Dude spent some time with our kids over the holiday and it was a great time to refresh and refocus. The boys went first and then we swapped and they took Sarah. It was great to have special time with Sarah, and special time with the boys. Thanks so much Nana and Dude.

I'm excited about 2011. I'm excited about fresh starts, new friends and neighbors while still being close enough to old friends and neighbors, watching what God does with The Crossing, participating in Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts in attempt to create a heart of gratitude, and so many more things.

Thank you for another year precious father.

Love,