God IS in Control...Part Two

So every time I am in a storm like the ones I mentioned before, I think to myself, " I want to be proud of how I handle this storm when it is all said and done. " I think about that all of the time. I want to be proud of how I am handling this storm. I want God to be proud of how I am handling this storm, and most importantly I want my testimony to the work of Christ to be evident EVEN in this storm, not just in the good times of life.

To say that things are easy right now would be a lie. To say that I never have really down moments would be a lie. And if none of this were a struggle, would it really be a storm?

I don't think God expects me to be Pollyanna. Or to be acting as if nothing is happening.

I do want to be proud of how I am handling this storm though. I am constantly evaluating that and giving it my best.

I am making the best of my time in the house with the kids. I am so thankful that they are little and that they really don't verbalize or know all of the things they could be doing. I am thankful that they just want my time and attention and I can give that to them.

I am loving every second of my time with Sarah. The past 6  months have been pure bliss from the perspective of having a baby in the house. The middle of the night feedings do not bother me. The crying doesn't bother me. Having to hold her all of the time doesn't bother me. Sacrificing a hot meal doesn't bother me. I am loving it all.

A messy house doesn't bother me as much. It still bothers me, but I try to focus my energy elsewhere and not get so frustrated with the boys for not being perfectly clean!

It's the little things that mean so much to them. I try and clear my mind and listen to them talk. I can color with them, eat meals with them, watch shows with them, play lego's with them, sit outside with them while they play, etc.  I am doing my best to get out of bed everyday, exercise and stretch my body, and love on my kids. For that I am grateful.

I am so excited about The Crossing and even though I can't be as involved as I would like, I want Jason to be doing all that he can do get things up and running and I am praying sincerely for God to bless it. I am trying not to bog him down with depression and discouragement, but rather engage with him as much as possible and talk about all the things involved with planting a church. It's a huge, awesome privilege that God has entrusted us with, and I know that He knew I would be hurt in the launch phase, yet He entrusted us with it anyways.

So all this to say, there is another side to the coin. All though I am really tired and sometimes really discouraged...I am also committed to doing my best, starting new every day,  and making my father, the King of the Universe, proud.

I love you Jesus.

One more thing, I just have to give a shout out to all my family and friends. I simply could not be where I am today without all of you. So many of you have encouraged our family and lifted us up in so many ways that it is truly unbelievable. Countless meals. Cleaning our house. Doing our laundry. Watching my  angels(kids). Driving me to appointments. Sitting with me in appointments. Putting flowers in our flower bed. Buying groceries. Gift cards. Mowing our lawn. Encouraging texts, emails, and FB messages. Preschool. Guest house. Borrowed car. PRAYER. Play dates. Fresh fruit from your garden. Laying on my bed and visiting with me. Dropping by for no reason. Sharing your hearts and stories. Listening. Persevering with us.

I mean seriously, we are so blessed. And I look forward to many years of paying it forward. Thank you.