Blah, Blah, Blah

So I'm laying on the floor of the boys old bedroom doing some stretches, feeling nostalgic. This is the room where many night time songs were sung, the boys played up many nights when they were supposed to be sleeping, they graduated to bunkbeds, they wrote on these walls, jumped off the bunkbeds, one brother threw another brother off of top bunk bed...and they broke the string on the ceiling fan. What else happened in here?? Lots of laughs, lots of games, lots of tickling, and I'm sure lots of tears. Bad dreams at night, which led to them cuddling together at night. An entire trash bag of stuff thrown away after we moved from under the bottom bunk, oh I also found poopy underwear hidden under those bunk beds one time!
We are living in a temporary situation right now and the mommy/woman in me is having a hard time not being able to hunker down and nest! I'm refusing to do any sort of it in this house we are staying in because, well, because it's just not ours!!
Our closing in Spring Branch/Bulverde got pushed back to December 9th, (it was Nov.18.) Ugh. So sad about that, I think I felt my heart sink when I heard the words.
AND our renter that we moved out of this house for, fell through at almost the last minute. Another bummer. We need someone to buy or lease this precious love-filled, memory-filled house on Becker Street! It showed twice today, so maybe the time is soon...maybe not!!
Can't help but wonder if it will be us moving back to Becker Street!!
Like Lori said in her story, church planting is the best of times, and the worst of times! For me, the "worst" part is the part of not knowing wether the church is going to make it or not! I know that God called us to this and I have to keep reminding myself of that on the days that are discouraging! Whatever the outcome is and whatever the future is, we are doing what God has called us to do and sometimes I wish He would give us more of a three-five year plan, instead of a step by step plan!
Sometimes I wonder, "what were we thinking doing ALL OF ThIS at one time?!?!" Raising two young men, a BAbY, a move(well, two moves!), and planting a church!! Whew! I'm tired and overwhelmed, and on some days I'm actually bored! Go figure! I think the part of me that is bored is the part of me that wants to be organizing kitchen and bathroom cabinets! Or the part of me that wants to fold clothes and put them in their very own drawers instead of in the drawers at the temporary house!
Insert guilt...be thankful for what you have Mindy!!
Having a baby is hard by the way. I find myself having these really weird emotions when it comes to babies. I get tired and cranky sometimes by their CONSTANT neediness, and then when I'm away from them for two minutes I miss them like crazy! I took some time to be alone today. It's been good. I went and walked around some stores without worrying or thinking about the boys fighting, running, etc. And without thinking about the next time Sarah needs to eat or get a diaper change!
I also thought about some ways to refocus and re-energize for tomorrow when the constant needs arise again. We need some boundaries, routines, and prayers to keep on going! And not just to keep on going, but to thrive and grow. I don't want to be that family that is just getting by day by day. Yet, it's easy to fall into that trap.
I heard someone say on the radio today to "remember to invest in things that are eternal and not only on our temporary satisfaction." Its a good reminder.
I can't just let motherhood and being a wife happen to me, I've got to invest in my roles and for me to do that I need a game plan. Not just a survival mentality. I keep thinking that will be easier when we get settled, but what about now?! We won't be settled for another month?! Aaaagh!!
(But that's really just another excuse, and theirs always excuses!)
I am off to paint and relax with girlfriends!! So excited, will post pics!!