Wrestling match with God

I am in a wrestling match with God. I was wrestling with my husband, but that's not getting me anywhere. So at the advice of a special friend, I am redirecting my anger. (To clarify: directing my frustration and anger TO God, not AT God...there's a big difference. Imagine a person shaking their fist angrily at the sky and asking, "Why, God?" Then a person with arms open wide to the sky asking, "Why, God?" There is a huge difference in attitude but also, God is big enough to handle my why's and my arms open in desperation with questions and burdens.)
My dear mom brought this verse to my attention.
So to keep me from being conceited because of the surpassing revelations, a thorn was given to me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from being conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:7-9
This verse makes me very angry. I have a thorn in my flesh and I want it to go away DESPERATELY!!! So I went outside and wrestled with God some this morning. I found myself staring at this tree. For some reason I am drawn to it, I love it...



I talked with God for a bit and cried because like I said, I really don't want to live with this thorn. And then I felt prompted, and I have learned to listen when God prompts me with something, to go to the walking trail that is right by my house. I got the kids together and off we went! I wanted to take a picture of the trail and I was hopeful that no-one would be on it. I wanted to get a picture of the journey ahead of me. But there were people on it and Drew sat down upset for some reason immediately.





And I thought, you know what, this is perfect because Drew is my emotional one and he sits down to throw fits quite often. That is a part of the road ahead of me. I like him there. So snap.
Then this really cute elderly woman walked up to me. She awed at Sarah for a bit and said, "I had 3 kids in five years so I know you have your hands full." I wanted to say, "well, you don't really know the half of it. I am in a tremendous amount of pain and I can't walk this trail with my kids because I would probably pay for it later and in fact I am in pain right now. I am just on this trail to take pics and having three kids to take care of is really just a portion of how I have my hands full right now."
But I didn't. I just admired at the beauty of God putting her in my life.
Then she walked off and I thought, "your pretty cool God."






There are people of all stages and things to offer on this road. For that I am thankful. Then I took a few pictures of our little princess...she is a real blessing...






I looked up and the boys were almost out of sight. Woops. The sweet lady from before was talking to them. I imagine she was telling them to go back to their momma! Drew came running back...notice Dylan and the lady in the background...




And said,"look mom, Dylan is so far away!" Then he ran off again.





And then this really sweet young girl came running past and challenged the boys to a race.



Thanks again God. So I came in to share with you about my morning with God and now I have to go because Drew had another accident (when is this kid ever going to poop in the potty?!) and I need to clean it up!

***side note*** I just got a really cool camera, but I have no idea how to use it. I am trying to learn but I think it is going to take me a while because, well, I have my hands full:) ...