The Road to Recovery

So, things are really looking up around here. I still am on the road to recovery, but the thing is...I actually feel like I AM ON THE ROAD!!! Until now, I haven't known or felt as if I was EVER going to get better, but now, I can tell that I am getting better and better everyday! Praise the Lord.
I can't even begin to explain all the things that the Lord has taught me over the last 9 months, and I know Jason and the kids would say the same thing...(If the boys knew how to articulate such a thing, the little boys that is...). But I do want to share a few of the things.
I wish I could look back and say, "man, I suffered well." But the truth is that I can't. I have had some very desperate, dark, and ugly moments. Moments that I am not proud of by any means. And moments that I don't want to go back to. BUT the huge thing that I have learned from that is that our faith in Jesus Christ truly is NOT a works-based faith!!! I have realized that I was living in so much bondage to religion, or the want to be "perfect." I'm not perfect, I'm not anywhere close to it. I'm not a super-mom, I'm not a super-wife, and I am by NO means a "super-christian." And guess what?? I'm ok with that! I am actually thankful for that. No matter how ashamed I ever was of my thoughts or actions, I knew that there wasn't ONE second where God stopped loving me. And there wasn't ONE second where He left my side. I feel as though I have a whole new appreciation for the gospel. Our sin and the condition of our hearts is truly in desperate need of a Savior. No matter how much we can "clean up" on the outside, God knows the extent of our depravity. He knows how much we need Him. And that is why He so lovingly sent His son to live and die for us. It's a gift I can't fathom. It's an act of love so huge that it really is MORE THAN we ever "deserve" from Him. Not that we are entitled to anything, but I think we believe that we are "entitled" to good health. And we simply are not. It's a gift. A huge gift.
In Acts, Paul talks about how the christian sold all of their stuff and took care of each other.  One thing I know from studying scripture is that it's not always meant to be taken literally, and while some things may have applied literally to a specific culture, it's application can be changed when dealing with a different culture. There have been SO MANY PEOPLE who have "sold their things," and taken care of our family. It has been UNBELIEVABLE!! Our family and friends have literally carried us through, and continue to do so, this season. Trips to the grocery store, loving on our kids, gift cards to restaurants, words of encouragement through texts, FB, phone calls, and letters. Flowers, yard-work, housework, help financially, prayers and petitions, and THE LIST GOES ON.... It has humbled me in so many ways. I could have never even have DREAMED up all of the ways people have loved on us. Never in a million years. Thank you. You have showed me what Paul was talking about. I know know what the TRUE church is. It is all about love. It's not confined to any rigid outline, demographic, time schedule, or building. It is an action that is strong enough to break down any barrier. Thank you for teaching me so many things through your love.
Alright, all this excitement has made me tired and I think I am going to take a nap now:) Please do not quit praying for complete healing. I'm dreaming of walking a mile in the near future. That is my first BIG goal, as far as physically. I believe in y'alls prayers. I wrote on here a few posts ago about how I wasn't sleeping well and that I kept having awful dreams. Well, guess what?? The night I wrote that, I started sleeping better and I haven't had a bad dream since then?! I know it is because you guys prayed. I know it without a shadow of a doubt. So thank you.
And one last thing, my husband. My husband has served me to no ends. I love that man. I feel like we are in our honeymoon phase all over again, except this time, it is so much deeper. If you are married, and you are unhappy for any reason, I dare you to serve the heck out of your spouse and see what happens. Jason has done nothing but serve me and I am head over heels in love with him, sooo anxious to "out serve" him!!

Much Love!