Conflict and Marriage

I have a problem.  Well, I have many actually, but let me tell you about one of them.  When I get my feelings hurt, I have a knee-jerk reaction that tells me to RUN!!!  I don't like conflict and I surely don't like it when people don't like me or something about me.  It hurts and I run.  I'm not very good at seeing it through.

So naturally, there have been and will continue to be times in my marriage where I get my feelings hurt.  The problem is though that I don't want to run.  I don't want to run from Jason and I don't want to just exist either. I want our marriage to be alive and thriving.  I don't like the days where we are just living in the same house together. 

So I have had to learn over the years how to overcome conflict and getting my feelings hurt.  I have had to learn how to rise above the issues going on and choose to love anyways.  I can't close the doors to my heart in my marriage.   Well, I could, but I really don't want to.

So marriage has been my practice field.  It's been the place where I keep my feet planted, choosing not to run, and choosing to continue being vulnerable.  Jason has forgiven me for so many things, ( I've have had to forgive him for a few;)),  and there are some things about me that I am sure Jason wishes he could change at least a little bit, but what I have learned in my marriage is to accept those things.  I have learned that although we have our differences, differences are GOOD.  Jason and I do not ALWAYS see eye to eye on EVERYTHING and that's OK.  We don't always treat each other how we should, and that's ok to.  I'm not settling there,  I realize we both have room to grow, but I want to thrive now, not we we get it all smoothed out.  

We all have our really great strengths, and we all have weaknesses as well.  And sometimes, those weak places of our hearts become the places that we are able to cause the most pain onto others. 

The beautiful thing about my marriage is that I am learning to apply the things I have experienced in my marriage, to other relationships.  It's fabulous.  It's as if marriage is a place to learn and grow, and then take those wonderful things and apply them in all areas of our lives.  It has more than one purpose.  Who knew God had so many things up his sleeve??