Today, I am Content

Sarah had her one year old well visit today,  Dylan had his six year old well visit, and Drew had an appointment with his allergist.  Needless to say, it was a fun morning!  The kids actually did really good all things considered, (like how I forgot to feed the boys breakfast before we left and Dylan's stomach was growling when the doctor listened, you know things like that...), and the allergist, which was the last appointment actually told me that she couldn't believe how calm I was being in a doctors office for so long with three kids.  She asked if I was always this calm and I refrained from sharing my story with her because I am getting a little tired of talking about it, but I took that as a huge compliment!

At Sarah's appointment, as the nurse was asking all the questions like,  "Has Sarah ever been hospitalized? Has Sarah had any surgeries?  Does Sarah see a specialist?", I honestly found myself pondering for a minute because Sarah's first year of life has been so full of appointments with specialist's, hospitilazations, surgeries, etc. that I forget if it was her or me.  I know that sounds weird, but it happens.  I had to think really hard about wether or not Sarah has had any of the above.  Praise the Lord, she has not.  She has been super healthy.

We also went to a dear friends annual Christmas party last night and as we drove home, I found myself saying to Jason, " remember last year when we went and...?", things like that and then I would say, "oh wait...we didn't go last year."  We pretty much skipped Chrismas last year. We skipped it all.  The whole year of 2010 is one big blur.

So what I stopped myself from sharing with Drew's allergist was, "well, I almost died last year, so I am really just thankful to be HERE with these crazy kids, even though yes, it's hard sometimes.  Very hard."

Our life has not been simple lately.  It has honestly been one thing after another.  It's almost comedic sometimes.  And sometimes, I have to remind myself that it really is a good thing that I survived the drama of last year.  Just being honest.

I've found myself wondering, "is anything ever just going to be simple?"  I mean really.  Can something just work out smoothly???  PLEASE!!!

Today I was reminded that no, we were never promised that this life would be simple, smooth, or easy.  We weren't.  Our life may never be simple.  And that is OK.  It really is.  For some reason,  I keep hoping that life as a christian will be easy.  I keep hoping that one day we will "arrive" at the place of a simple life.  With no more pain, no more doubts, no more fear, no more insecurities. 

The opposite is actually what is promised to us.  As Christians, we aren't promised to have an easy life, but we are promised to have a life of persecution and suffering.  Yep. We are.  And even though sometimes, I want to throw my hands up in the air and give up on it all, today, I am reminded that it's all worth it.  Every bit of suffering and hardships that we will endure in this lifetime are worth it to me because I love my father in heaven.  I love Him.  And it's worth it to me to suffer well and continue striving to bring glory to His name.  No matter what happens in my life, I still want to tell others about my God.  I still want to serve others and love others.  I still want to be the best, most loving, encouraging, and up-lifting mommy, wife, and friend that I can be.  Even in the hard times.  Even if it never gets easy.

Today I am content.  I am content in trusting my God no matter what the circumstances are.  I trust Him because He has shown me time and time again that He is good.  He is very, very good.

Dare to trust Him with me??