In My Shoes...

"In my shoes" is a weekly series that is updated every Thursday. I hope you enjoy the following post and that like me, you will learn more about a different walk of life, which will help you to love better! We love comments or likes and would love to have you follow this series with us. We have some amazing women and amazing topics to share. If you have something YOU would like to write about, please contact me!

Up until the age of 16, I was a good kid.  I never drank alcohol, I never smoked a cigarette (or any thing else),  I never skipped school, or cheated on anything, I never lied to my parents,  I had never been arrested, and I never had sex.   By the time I was 16 ½  I had done all of those things, some more than others, and I was pregnant.


Psalm 138:7-8 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me; you will stretch out your hand...and your right hand will save me. The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; your mercy o Lord endures forever.

Why my life changed so drastically that year I still don't really know.   I can tell you this though, if I hadn't gotten pregnant, things would have gone from bad to worse.

As soon as I found out I was going to have a baby, I was fine, just fine.  That is the only way I can describe my feelings about being pregnant. I did not feel the overwhelming joy that I know some women feel when they get the news.  I did not feel resentful, angry, or ashamed either. I was just fine.

 I had a  healthy pregnancy free of complications or concerns.  Even after I went through the entire 40 weeks  and gave birth (by then I was 17 years old), I still was just fine.  I loved my son right away of course.  But as far as being a mom I felt just fine about that.

The first 2 years of Cody's life are kind of a blur.  We moved a lot! I wanted to do this thing right, be an adult, but at 17 years old it is hard.  Cody and I moved out of my parents' house 4 different times before  it finally stuck!  I tried attending community college but only lasted a semester. I needed to work full time to support my son.

Thankfully, I have amazing parents who, while encouraging me to do this on my own, were also there when I needed their help.

Just before Cody turned 2 years old, I met my future husband, Keith.  We were only dating a very short time before guess what? I was pregnant again.  This time around I had a reality check. I was 19 years old, I was pregnant for the 2nd time, and I was getting married??   How had this happened?  How had I LET this happen? 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

Once again I went through the entire pregnancy in a fog, this time it was a fog of depression, I was numb.  I felt helpless and trapped.  I was told later on that it was scary how much my personality changed during those months.

Heidi was born 1 month after my 20th birthday.  As soon as I delivered, (and the drugs wore off) I had this realization. “I can do this” I thought, and I will will be more than just fine.

6 Months later Keith and I packed up our little family and moved 10 hours away to Boerne, TX which would be our home for the next 8 years. 

By becoming a mom at such a young age, yes, I did miss out on a lot of the experiences most people have in their “dating years”.  There are a few things I do regret not having done like traveling, college, etc.

Motherhood did make a profound impact on my self esteem.  I don't know if it was because I was so young or if it would have happened anyway, but I became very introverted.   I gained weight, I stopped caring how I looked, I was a hot mess!  I tried to make up for my lack of confidence by volunteering for things, lots of things, I was a cub scout leader, an awana leader, a Sunday school teacher, I volunteered in the community , at the library, etc.. I realized I was afraid to be me, my personality was just gone.  I was a mom. That's it.

It wasn't until I started to make friends with other moms, most of them older than me, but a few my age that I started to come out of my shell.  I started exercising again, by the way a great way to do this with your kids is martial arts, I lost weight, I stopped volunteering SO much, I kept doing the things I loved.  I began to actually enjoy motherhood.  I found a church family and along with it, a great group of friends.  I grew closer to the the Lord and through him I found Peace. I found joy and acceptance and I found love.

Galatians 6:4 Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else.

Now, here we are 12 years after this story began I am 28 years old,  my son Cody is 11, my daughter Heidi is 8, and I have been married to Keith for  almost 9 years.  I am happy with who I am, and I am proud of what I had to do do get here.  I love my God and I know he has his hand on my family.  I have HIM to thank for: calming me at 16, when I was too young to fully comprehend the consequences of my actions, numbing me at 19 when I was too overwhelmed to deal with the results of the choices I had made, and for loving me always! 


Luke 1:45 Blessed is she who believes that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished.

Mindy, thank you for this blog, and thank for the chance to share my story, and to read about so many inspiring women.

Written by Kim Allen.