Three is My Number. Part Two

When I had two kids, I don't know if I cried out as desperately to God for His help in just the day-to- day things.  So, this is a good thing, right??

    Being a mom makes me a lot more aware of things and a lot more  contemplative about everything. And when I say contemplative, what I really mean is that I annoyingly over think everything!!  I had so many great plans for all the wonderful things I would do and all the wonderful things I would teach my children once I started "contemplating" all things parental.  

Good things, of course.  One of the big things was/is character.  I wanted to exemplify character that was/is a reflection of God's.  For example, God follows through on His word.  So I believe I should always follow through on my word, and one of the ways I wanted to do that was by teaching cause and effect.  "I told you if you hit your brother, you can't have your favorite toy for two days."  Or whatever.  I wanted to always, always, ALWAYS follow through completely on the things that I had said.

Another example would be that I wanted to show them true love by loving them the same even when they were being turkeys.  I wanted to give them their consequence or whatever, but never let it effect the way I treat them.

Good things, right?  Just normal, everyday things that I would like to react in an appropriate manner with. 

I still try and do these things, but the truth is that I pretty much fail a lot.   I say dumb things, I overlook when I am too tired to deal with stuff, I get really annoyed and have a bad attitude sometimes.  And sometimes, I start the car before they have FINALLY buckled in!

Here is the cool thing though...I really think this was part of God's plan.  I truly believe that He LIKES having me at a place where I realize that no matter how GOOD I am doing, it's never good enough.  Lately, I know it more than I used to, and this gives me the opportunity to give HIM the glory when miracles in our house happen. 

When I start to think that I have it all together as a mom, I wonder if that's what scripture talks about when it mentions our "rags of righteousness."  Is that what that is?  When we think we are "oh so good," that we have it all figured it and then slowly, we become less and less dependent on Him?

I don't want to carry around rags of righteousness.  I want to continue to be completely dependant on Him.  And when I fail, I want to be able to tell my kids, "you know what kids, mommy messed up.  please forgive me."  And when we talk about God and Jesus, I want to be able to point out to them that all though mommy messes up and makes mistakes all of the time, Jesus never does.  AND although mommy messes up all of the time, Jesus still loves me and He loves you too!  Even when you mess up.  It's a level field at the cross.  Their are none who are better than others.  We all mess up in many ways and Jesus loves us all just the same.  He knew about all of our my mistakes before we even made them and that's why He died on the cross.  So we could be forgiven for them.  Walk in freedom.  Don't be too afraid to make mistakes.  Just give your mind, your thoughts, and your will over to Jesus and watch what happens!"