I'm Dreaming of a World...

where sexual purity was cool.

My heart is aching for all the ways that our children, our teenagers, and our adults are filled with so many lies and so much misinformation about the beauty and gift of sexual intimacy between a married man and woman.

My soul is weary and aching for the kids and for the innocence that is being taken away from them at what seems to me, an alarming young age. I don't think that by any means this is because it's a new thing, it's probably more so because I am terified for my young ones.

I spoke with a woman recently about an elementary aged child who was fondling a two year old (in her house).  I heard of a wife and mother who was sleeping with a mutual friend of her and her husbands for years before anyone knew about it. I hear of young married couples who unknowingly watch the kids while the spouses are gone spending time behind closed doors together. This isn't just the stuff I am hearing in the tabloids (I don't even read tabloids), or the things I am seeing on TV, (because I chose not to watch that stuff either, as best that I can). These are real life people that come across my path in my small little world. These are the people I know and love. These are my peeps.

Why? Why is this happening? Why in the world is our world so curropt and why has something that God created to be so sacred and so beautiful, turned into something that is just a cheap form of entertainment? So much so that we all know what it means when we hear about those who are just "friends with benefits?" As if that's a normal thing.

I believe God created marriage to be a beautiful, holy thing. I believe sex within marriage should arouse emotions and vulnerabilities in us that are unmatched in this world. It should be pleasurable and it is the glue that bonds a husband and wife in such a way that is incomparable to any other relationship. It sets marriage above any other relationship.

To me, when an innocent child is put in a situation where those feelings of pleasure are aroused, it immediately sets in a sense of shame. Again, sexual intimacy was meant to be pleasurable. So when a child is aroused, (which implies pleasure), and which is normal, at the same time, they know something is horribly wrong about it. They know that they should not be engaging in such a thing, and they know that it should in no way be enjoyable. God forbid, especially if it is an adult that they trust. There is something in their gut that tells them that something is horribly wrong, yet "what do they know??"  Aren't they supposed to be the submissive ones? Aren't they supposed to obey their parents/elders, which again, is an innate quality in children.

So what do we do with this? How do we protect our kids and show them the value of staying pure? How do we know without an uncertainty that nothing is ever happening to them behind closed doors and what do we do as adults to overcome all of the lies that we are surrounded with? Man, I wish the answers were simple. I think it's called "Heaven" to be honest.

But I think we can do some things about it here too.

I for one, am praying my butt off for my kids. I am begging God to protect them and to give me a heightened awareness of any stuff they may be exposed to. I am also going to use my brain, every little bit of it, and do everything in my power to make sure they are never put in harms way. Does this mean we live in seclusion? Well, no. But at the same time, I do believe it is my responsibility to set firm, hard boundaries for them. For example, we will not be doing sleepovers any time soon in this family. I know of too many nice people who have stuff swept under their rugs. And I know of too many scarred adults who could have been protected as children in pretty simple ways.

Another way we choose to protect our kids is by shielding them from the messages on TV. I would let my kids watch a bloody battle scene between good and evil before I would let them watch a sleazy sitcom.  And dear Lord, please, please help me to never be so naive as to think that they wouldn't be effected by watching sex scenes as adolescents, even though plenty of PG-13 movies would tell you that was the norm.  I can still remember some movies I was exposed to as a kid that were traumatizing to me. Can we say "Fatal Attraction"? Vomit. Vomit. Vomit. I was six when that movie came out and I remember renting it at the video store.

Parents, let's wake up. Let's not be naive and believe that if let to chance, our kids will be set up for success with a healthy marriage and a healthy view of sexual intimacy.  I believe, if left to chance, they will be doomed. They will be so jacked up in their ways of thinking in regards to a healthy marraige, that it could/would take a lifetime for them to overcome some of the damage. From one desperate mom, to another, let's pray for our kids purity and let's STEP up and do something about it.  One home at a time.


For some amazing insight, and practical tips, I highly recommend this blog series by Chris Legg.  I am printing it out and keeping this one.