Life's Healing Choices- Choice One

Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.
Matthew 5:3

I have had a few hard blows in this short lifetime of mine. Who hasn't?  In the past, I have allowed those "blows" if you will, to suck the life out of me at times.  I have watched myself sort of self-destruct and go into my own little vacuum where all I can think about it the "suffering" that I am enduring. As I come out of those seasons, I am always thankful for the things God teaches me, and I am also always so frustrated with myself that I can get so distracted from being the wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend that God has called me to be.  Don't get me wrong, I believe in grief, and I believe in staring pain right in the face while allowing it to penetrate every fiber of my being. But I don't like staying there. And I especially do not like staying there if it involves neglecting my husband and kids because I am too consumed with myself. I always regret it and feel more happiness when I choose to focus my energy on being a blessing instead of looking for what I can get out of life.

So when I started chapter one of Life's Healing Choices, I sort of made a deal with God. I told Him I would go through this book, but I refused to go into crisis mode. I refused to be broken to a point that I neglected those around me.

I think He laughed at me when I told Him that. 

So as I journeyed through chapter one, I have journaled and shared with my accountability partner, I have cried, I have prayed, and I have asked God for forgiveness and healing. And I will continue to confess the sins of my heart to trustworthy sources and I will continue to seek healing and restoration in my heart, mind, body, and spirit. My journey is far from over.

BUT one thing God  has shown me through this is that to be "spiritually poor" does not mean to go into crisis mode so much that I am consumed in my own little pity party. Not at all. It is simply an acknowledgement of how much I miss the mark and how far off I am from "doing all the things I want to do, and from being who I want to be" when I try and do life without Jesus. I have a track record of sin in my life. We all do. And even though my track record BEFORE Jesus looks different than my track record of sin AFTER Jesus in my life, it's technically all the same. It's falling short. It's living in my sin nature. And I continuously do it. I continuously do the things I do not want to do. And that is the definition of being spiritually poor. It's acknowledging that apart from Christ, I can do nothing. I need Jesus every second of every day to live this life as He has called me to.  Everything I do is not so that I can boast and say, "Look at me!! I am an awesome Christian, I've got this thing in the bag!!" Nope, not at all.  Everything that I do and everything that I am is because Christ is working within me and through me. Period. He gets all the glory. In my own strength, I am spiritually POOR, and I know it. Thank you God.

Choice One

I admit that I am powerless to control 

my tendency to do the wrong thing 

and that my life is unmanageable.

Our church is working through Life's Healing Choices, starting today at The Crossing. We have books on sale on Sunday mornings for $5. I am excited about this journey and I invite you to join us!